Monday, October 30, 2006

Dangerous City Update

So I was doing some more research, and I found a link to a story that shows the entire list of most dangerous cities in the United States. The list starts out with the SAFEST and ends with the most dangersous (which is number 371 St. Louis the most dangerous). Interestingly enough, my hometown of Lee's Summit Missouri is number 19 (which puts it near the bottom of the most dangerous list). Also interesting, Lee's Summit is the lowest ranking (and therefore most safe) city from Missouri on the list. Here is the addy for this story:

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/10/30/D8L2OIB80.html


So there you go...from the safest in Missouri to the the most dangerous city in the country! Boy can I pick 'em!!

A Real Danger?

St. Louis has been ranked the most dangerous city in the country. Apparently violent crime is up 20% since 2004. This is sad and a little surprising (to me at least). I admit I don't get out as much as I should, but when I do I don't feel unsafe. Then again I tend to stick to certain areas of the city...

The list of "Most Dangerous Cities" was compiled by Morgan Quitno Press (who publish travel guides).The article I read about this didn't distinguish if they included East St. Louis (which is not in Missouri) in this study. East St. Louis is basically the worst place on Earth (so I hear) I've never been. The article says that crimes weren't just counted, they were weighed. The more violent a crime, the more weight it was given...and that's how St. Louis ended up on the top of the list.

So, St. Louis won the World Series and is the most dangerous city in the United States. Damn.

You can find the article here:

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/10/30/D8L2OHKO0.html

Sunday, October 29, 2006

What is there to gain?

Ok, so I know there are valid (I guess) reasons for what happened today...but frankly I'm not buying any of them. Why, oh why, did I have to set ALL of my clocks back an hour? Nothing physically happened, it was all in our heads. The sun didn't speed up, or slow down. How freakin' arbitrary and stupid are we? First we invent this thing called "time." Then we make up all these stupid rules that only apply in certain, specific geographic areas. Did you know that not every part of the counrty recognizes Daylight Savings? Exactly. If I was mayor of a small town, or governor of a state that would be MY VERY FIRST ACT (assuming I had the power). I'd do away with Daylight Savings. So you get off of work and it's dark outside? Who cares? So little kids have to wait for the bus just before daybreak (rather than actual daybreak). So what? That's why we have electric lights. Parents should be watching their kids at the bustop anyway.

This all seems like some sort of plot. By the people who makes clocks and watches. Everytime we reset out clocks we're slowly degrading the mechanisms. More wear and tear=more money for them. By the way, I'm being sarcastic. I don't actually believe that. The reality is much simpler. The truth of the matter is, we humans want to feel like we are in the drivers seat. We want to feel powerful, in charge. The sun doesn't play by our rules. It doesn't conform to the nice, neat little lines of society. You can't organize nature, natural systems are far too complex. People don't really give time much thought. We accept it as something that's real. Like it's a force of nature...instead of merely a human invention. A function of the mind. For most animals, there is no past or future, only the present...the now. Not a bad way to live, if you think about it. Simple.

Anyway, this morning sucked. I got up, thought I was running late...then found out that I was really running early. Really, really early. Not a bad thing, I guess, just a thing. I'm not really upset by any of this, I just like to point out how artificial/superficial/fundamental this "Fall back" business really is. It's like being in a burning house and pointing out that cup of water on the table..."Look, that waters boiling."

Yeah. The forest and the trees.

Happy Birthday Leah!

So today was Leah's birthday party. She's 24 years old today (and doesn't look a day over 22!). Here are some highlights:



The cake was really good...Leah made it herself!










Friday, October 27, 2006

We Win!

Video Blog Week #3

This didn't turn out as good as I'd hoped...but at least I tried something different.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

What a Strange Day I've Had

Today has been a really strange day. I got up, went over to the other side of Campus and met my friend Jamie in the cafeteria. We talked a bit and then we went to the gym. So far not too strange. We went and worked out, came back to my dorm and talked. The phone rings, I pick it up. It's my sister telling me I have some money coming to me. Yes! Turns out my summer employer owes me one last check. Great! I'm totally excited about getting some money (being dead broke and all).

Last night the World Series game got rained out here in St. Louis. I imagine it'll get rained out again tonight. What will this mean for my sister who is coming into town on Saturday? Only time will tell. Do they keep delaying these games forever, or will they just give up and go back to Detroit? I can't imagine them doing that...then again, these games need to be played. Can't wait to see how that one works itself out (I hope she's able to get a hotel room...and at a somewhat decent price).

I'm worried that Leah's birthday on Sunday won't be very good. I'm trying (sorta) to get something together for her, but it's difficult because 1. she won't give me any imput as to what she wants and 2. I have no fucking money. I basically ruined her birthday last year, and I'm trying to avoid doing that yet again.

The strangest thing I did today was film my weekly Friday Video blog (this will be week #3). I decided to plan something out a little...do something other than just stare at the camera and talk about my week. This week's I promise, will be different. Did it turn out as well as I'd planned? No. Is it as great as what me and Jamie discussed earlier today? No. I'm one man with a simple digital camera. I have no special effects department. It sucks. But I watched it, and I was moderately entertained. You will be too.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Monday, October 23, 2006

Fall, Fall, Fall...


Midnight’s calling Are you close behind?
Midnight’s calling Are you close behind?
Trees without leaves an’ notes that don’t ring
Wine left to rot an’ a voice that can’t sing
An’ hours of making love in silence
An a light that just won’t shine in the darkness
Could I be any clearer?
Well Could I speak any plainer?
- I need you here
Just to lean my way An’ fall, fall, fall
She’d scolded me for my sinful and wicked ways
Towered above me
– do you follow?
Watched with concealed pleasure
As I ripped out my heart and said
I’m Just bad, I can’t help it
But I tr-tr-try to be good
And trees without leaves
an’ notes that don’t ring
Wine left to rot an’ a voice that can’t sing
An’ hours of making love in silence
An a light that won’t shine in the darkness
Could I be any clearer?
Well Could I speak any plainer?
- I need you here
Just to lean my way An’ fall, fall, fall
These people may get lonely
People may get lonely sometime---------by Johnny Borrell


For some reason I didn't really realize that it was Autumn until today. I was walking to class and I was like "Damn, look at those leaves...it's like fall or something..." Well October is nearly over! Where the hell does time go? Seems like only yesterday I was sweating my ass off in that stupid guard uniform. School is not only back in session, the semester is half over! I am at a loss for words.

This has been without a doubt, the worst semester of college I've had, ever. I can't really put my finger on it, but something is off. It's so bad, that had this been my first semester here...I don't think I'd come back in the Spring. Now what's up with that? The dorm sucks. Classes suck. Homework sucks. The city sucks. What the hell?

Kansas City doesn't really feel like home anymore though, so I don't know where it is I'm supposed to go! Every since I moved out here last year I've wrestled with this problem--of not really feeling like I have a home. Do you know what its like to always wake up in a strange place (no matter where you are)? I do. I feel like refugee. Tom Petty once wrote that you "don't have to live like a refugee." Well where am I supposed to go Tom? This feeling usually comes and then goes away...just like the fall breeze. I guess I won't let it get me down.

Tomorrow I have another "make-or-break" test in Grammar. I went to the MSC and studied and ate dinner. I am so not prepared. I'm going to hang in there and hope for some kind of miracle. If I get through this class I will be so happy, you have no idea. I don't even know why I don't like diagraming sentences. Really, I should LOVE it! Oh well...I guess I don't love it after all. Sometimes I think about changing my major again. If I wasn't engaged, I'd probably stay in college for about 10 years. Not earning any more degrees mind you...just going and switching my major every now and then. I have no idea what I'd go into if I dropped English. I wish I was good at something.

I read an article online (http://biz.yahoo.com/weekend/great_1.html) about how people aren't born with any traits that make them particuarly good at any job...that successful people get to be that way through hard work and practice. So why is it that I feel like I'm the only one barely keeping afloat? Why is it that everyone else seems to be boyant? I want to float like everyone else. Instead it seems like all I do is sink like a stone. Straight to the bottom. If I graduated today, what would I do? (besides wet myself?). I have no game plan beyond signing up for classes and buying books. What the hell do you do after the get your degree? Do you open up the "WANTED" section of the paper? Obviously there is a way you're supposed to go about living the rest of your life...I wish I knew what that way was.

Anyway, this whole post has wandered away from me a bit. Is it about fall? Is it about how I'm homesick for a home that doesn't exist? Is it about how I want to graduate, but am terrifed of graduating all at the same time? I don't know. Maybe it's really about how I love it when the leaves turn. Maybe it's about how I love Tom Petty, and reading about how to become sucessful...all the while staying safe in my cacoon of mediocrity.

I want to paint a picture. Direct a short film. Narrate a nature documentary. Do voice-over work. Make a coffee table book of black and white pictures I take. I want to produce volumes (at a high volume). I think I'll end it there...

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Music Makes (Or Breaks) A Movie

So last night I finally got around to seeing Spike Lee's latest "joint" INSIDE MAN. I'll spare you the trials and tribulations I had to endure to see this film. Let us just say, there were a lot of obstacles. So how was it? Well it was pretty good. Actually, it was quite a departure for Lee, whose films usually have a broader cultural agenda/slant to them. INSIDE MAN is a crime thriller about a bank robber that's not really a bank robbery...or is it?

The cast was great (Clive Owen-the man who should have been Bond, Denzel Washington, Jodie Foster) and the production was nice. Good script, though I saw the major plot twist coming (sort of...I guessed something similar but thought "nah, is that even still possible?"). Overall it was a decent effort by a great director. Kind of like AI or GANGS OF NEW YORK. Good, but not the best examples of Spike Lee.

There was, however, one aspect of this film that was severely lacking. I don't know who scored this thing (and picked out the songs) but it was terrible! The soundtrack was GOD AWFUL. The film opens with said "robbery" about to be staged. We get shots of New York...and what do we hear? Some crappy New Age/World music. Was it terrible? No. Did it feel out of place? Yes. Leah tried to argue that the world feel of the music had something to do with New York being a multi-cultural city. I disagree. When a film is opening, and a heist is about to be staged (involving normal, run-of-the-mill white people) why have this strange music playing? It wasn't foreboding in anyway. In fact, it was slightly disarming. Maybe that was the point, to lull the audience into some sort of false sense of security...I might even go along with that--if the beginning of the movie had been somehow shocking or surprising. Had the bank takeover been violent I might see the point. The audience is nice and calm from the opening credit music...now BAM! Violence. However, the robbery is very much a peaceful one (*spoiler* the bandits turn out to be very kind indeed).

The film's original score was lacking as well. It was the usual, generic thriller/suspense soundtrack...it would have been good (by that I mean, it would have done it's job and I'd have barely noticed it) had it been used properly. For some reason it seemed to me that every emotion that the score usually tries to invoke was off a beat or two. Example: Something dramatic happens. Rather than the music build tension it seems to lag behind the action. Thus, once something dramatic has just happened...we get a delayed musical cue. There were a couple of instances when a dramatic musical cue came...and nothing...and I MEAN NOTHING, happened. Denzel walks across the screen (nothing going on) and BAM! Dramatic music. What?

A film's music works best when one of two things happen:

1. It does it's job and helps build tension, or illicit another emotion from the audience. It does this without the audience even realizing it. This is the most common type of score. Most people (minus music majors) hardly give a film's score much thought (at least during the film). This is because the music is there to accent what's going on onscreen (rather than detract from it).

2. The JAWS or 2001 effect. This is when the film's score seems to almost become another character in the film. While rare, there are a few films whose music is so intergal to the film you not only notice it...you'd notice it if it was different (in even the slightest way). Movies like JAWS and the James Bond series use repeated riffs in this way. Likewise, films like STAR WARS and 2001 have deep, complex symphonic scores that seem to take on a life of their own. These scores are dynamic and don't just accent what is onscreen (by framing the picture) but add a deeper depth and meaning to the screen.

The second is rare, and the first is common (and yes, I realize that two of my four examples were scored by John Williams...he's just simply that good). I went on Friday and saw THE PRESTIGE...and I can't tell you a single thing about the music in that movie--other than the fact that it was lean and efficient. It was a true number one, it went it and did it's job and went the hell home.

When a movie's soundtrack fails (as I feel it did in INSIDE MAN) the audience notices. A good score is one of those things you only notice when it's not there. I hope that the next time Spike Lee sits down to make a movie he has somone else do the score and song selection. However did it last time took a decent movie and made it lousy.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Return of a Champion!


New Robbie Williams single available FOR FREE ON iTUNES! Unbelievable. Robbie's new single "Kiss Me" is an '80s cover (some band named Tin Tin). His new album comes out next month and is called RUDEBOX. I'm very excited, because me and my sister love Robbie (yes...in that way). I'm a HUGE fan of (good)pop music and nobody does it better than Robbie. This new album is a departure for Robbie...like the album, the single "Kiss Me" is a techno/Euro-pop/dance song. It's goofy and I can't believe I like it...

A Family of Bad Students

So earlier this morning me and Leah took Rusty to his second obedience class at PETSMART. Rusty wasn't as good this time as he was last week. We messed up because we didn't get there very early like last time and he had trouble focusing on the lessons because he was in sensory overload. I never know what to do, so I just try to stay out of the way...but this time I couldn't help but laugh at Rusty's progress (or lack thereof).

The instructor is kind of a duchebag. At time's he seems like a caring, patient soul...then other times he snaps or using (what I consider) unnecessary force. I'm no expert, so I just go along with it (to a point...he better not use the water bottle on Rusty). Anyway, I wasn't very helpful today because I kept doing what I do best...sitting in the back giggling to myself. I can't help it the world is a joke and only I know the punchline.

So my "punishment" for next week is that I'm to take the lead at the next class. Our regular teacher is on vacation and we'll have some other person. So maybe that'll help (and cut me a break). Rusty is a good dog, his main problem is that he needs to get out of the house more. This is a problem for every dog my family has ever owned too. We're busy, so they don't get to go out into the world and meet strange people/dogs. The poor bugger just wants to interact with other dogs and people...not sit in a plastic room and learn to heel.

So, this week we're going to try to get Mr. Rusty out of the house a bit more. I want to take him up to PETSMART at least one time prior to our Saturday morning lesson.

Doggie homework.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Video Blog WEEK #2

Here it is...I've gone into the last two of these cold, but I may start planning them out a little better (to make them more, shall we say--interesting?). I am going to stick to my rule of one take only, because I think that makes for a more realistic/truthful blog...plus I'm too lazy for multiple takes.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

One more really messed up thing...

Yeah so I went to take a leak earlier today (as one does) and this is what greated me in the "men's" room (I put men in quotes because clearly I live with animals).

Now what the hell? I'm assuming that some asshole in a drunken rage (or a power-shitter who got out of control) decided it would be cool to kick down the stall. Wonderful. Now we have three stalls jackasses. Seriously, these idiots need to think BEFORE THEY ACT...

If it makes you happy...

...then why the hell are you so sad?

I hate Sheryl Crow. Yikes is she bad (think about it...all her songs are basically her saying the hook over and over...and over and over). "Everyday Is A Winding Road" is not only the title of the song...it's pretty much all she ever sings.

That said, I can't help but see some wisdom in her simplicity. Like her song "If It Makes You Happy." I have a friend who is suffering right now, and I think this song would do him some good. I have another friend in a similar situation. I know things aren't always 24/7 great and wonderful (believe me I know) but if you are in a shitty situation AND YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT for fucksake...do something about it.

But that's easier said than done. I know my friends are just going to have to work their stuff out on their own....still it doesn't make it any easier for me. It's downright painful to see someone going through the EXACT SAME SHIT you went through a year or two ago and not be able to do a damn thing about it. I guess people do need these sort of "growing" and/or "learning" experiences. They help build character, or something like that.

In other news...

I am still sick, but doing better. I went to the gym yesterday and today and I think that's really helped me on the road to Wellsville. I think I did okay on the oral Spanish mid-term and I think I flunked the written (worth more points) part. Oh well. I got a C on my last Grammar test and found out today that *surprise* I have another one on Tuesday...YAY! Just want I wanted...Another ulcer. Fantastic.

Tonight I'm going to Leah's for some home cookin' and Rusty lovin' (by that I mean he'll lick the crap out of my hands and crotch). Tomorrow I'm going to study, clean my room, do laundry, and see "The Prestige" with my bud Jamie. I'm depressed that (as usual) I am about to be dirt ass poor and my meal plan is dangerously low (that's what ya get for buying other people food). On the positive this will no doubt, help me on my diet. Prior to getting sick me and Leah decided to go on a diet. As you can imagine, getting sick has really helped me stick to it. No candy, soda, or any of that crap. We're also trying to do the whole "Special K" thing (2 meals a day of ceral then one normal meal for dinner). So far I'm able to have one big bowl of ceral and one regular meal. That was today...every other day since Sunday as been cereal, fruit and nut mix, and banana bomb pops (for my throat). No soda, just milk, water, and orange juice (for my cold).

Tomorrow is my second "Friday Video Blog" and I'm not looking forward to it. Mainly becuase on Sunday I go the idea to dramatically cut my hair...clearly I was sick mentally before I was sick physically. I look stupid with short hair, my head is a weird shape and it's fat. I have a fat fucking head. Ugh. The only good thing about it is, I did need a hair cut and one this short will provide me with pleanty of time before I need another one. So that's good. Way to stretch the budget Jason. Thanks. So look for that tomorrow.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I am so sick...

Ugh...I feel like crap. Yesterday afternoon I started feeling crappy, by last night I was downright sick. Today I woke up and went to class, but went home before my last class and went straight to bed. I got up at 5:00 and did some of my homework. I am so screwed, tomorrow is part one of my Spanish II mid-term and I am so not ready. Plus I feel like crap.

Luckily for me, Leah came and made me feel a little better last night. Tonight I went out and bought some OJ and medicine at Walgreens, but I think going out did more bad than good.

You know I'm sick when all I want to do is soak in bath tubs and eat banana bomb pops.

Yikes.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

R.I.P.



Sad news rock fans...Justin Hawkins has left british rock band The Darkness and checked himself into rehab. Atlantic dropped the rest of the band from the label like the very next day. So that's it, after two albums The Darkness are no more. On his Myspace page Hawkins is promoting his new project British Whale.

'Tis a sad day...

How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

With the recent nuke test in North Korea my generation has gotten a small taste of the Cold War. We're learning that it was a whole different ballgame than faceless, nameless, hidden terrorist-enemy we have been facing. Country vs. Country, Nuclear power vs. Nuclear power is a whole extra level of horror. Imagine a conflict that could actually end all life on Earth. Can you? Though the current crisis with North Korea pales in comparison to the "good old days" of say the Cuban Missle Crisis...it's shaken a lot of people up. The idea of a madman holding his finger over "the button" terrifies us all. Stanley Kubrick's film "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" (that's the full title, henceforth to be refered by me as "Dr. Strangelove"), takes this idea and runs with it. I saw this film for the first time last night at a midnight showing and it blew me away (pun intended).

Kubrick's biting satire points out that it's not just people like Kim Jong-Il who we need to worry about...it's pretty much anyone and everyone. Human beings simply shouldn't have this horrible destructive power. This is because, as I've always reasons: if we build these things...someday they are going to be used. It's that simple. You don't build a tool and then not use it. Humans are rash, foolish, greedy, self-centered creatures...not the best stewards for something like nuclear weapons.

Basically, one crazy/demented General (Jack D. Ripper) pushes the button so to speak and orders a strike on the Soviets. He tells the bombers to use "Plan R" which presumes that Washington has been destroyed...giving Ripper authority to order a retaliatory strike. These bombers have no idea that there has been no attack...with little hesitation, they proceed into Soviet airspace. On the ground, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers in one of three brillantly played roles) who is General Rippers righthand man begins to suspect that the Generals orders aren't a "loyalty test" or some other kind of training exercise and freaks out. Ripper has impounded all the radios on the base, so no one can know that there has been no attack. According to "Plan R" no one is allowed in or out of the base. Anyone trying to enter is shot. Poor Mandrake tries desperatley to get Ripper to tell him the three letter code to end the attacks...but Ripper blows his own brains out. In one of the movies funniest scenes, Mandrake cracks the code and must find away to call the President. He finds a pay phone, but doesn't have correct change...the White House won't take his collect call...risking life and limb (and as one soldier points out the wrath of the Coca Cola Company) Mandrake gets enough change to make his call.

The day is saved....all the planes are called off--except one whose radio is damaged. The President learns that the Russians have a "doomsday machine" that will blow up the world if Russia is attacked. In a final act of desperation, crazy ex-Nazi scientist Dr. Strangeglove proposes that 100,000 people hide down in a mineshaft and reclaim the Earth after the 100 years of nuclear winter. In the end, the bombs are dropped and the world ends. We don't find out if the good doctors plan works (or if there was even enough time to implement it). All we see is bomb after bomb (real nukes footage by the way) exploding. And why? For what reason? Like everything man does, the reason is rooted in sex and the sexual. General Ripper blames Commie floridation of the water supply for his own lagging labido. Phalic symbols are seen over and over again. Cigars, guns, bullets, missles, B52's...all the worst things man has made--all resembling/augmenting/acessorizing his penis. Just like George Carlin and his "bigger dick" theory.


"Dr. Stangelove" serves as yet another reminder that man is his own worst enemy. Stumbling out of the theatre at 2AM, I couldn't help but wonder if the genie will ever be put back in the bottle. Can human beings escape the seemingly enevitable fate of nuclear holocaust? The pessimist in me says "hell no" but movies like "Dr. Strangelove" make me wonder. If people like Kubrick can help us forsee this calamity can't we avoid it?

Friday, October 13, 2006

That house that Jason built

From "The Gossamer Trunk" by Jason Wendleton:

"The Glynn house leered at him with its grimy, vacant windows. Half of the house seemed to be swallowed up by thick, wild ivy. A few forgotten hedges were now running amuck at the edges of the property, their leafy tendrils criss crossing each other at bizarre angles. A handful of skeletal trees dotted the landscape, their gnarled branches looked like fingers trying to grab hold of the pale gray sky.
What still remained uncovered of the house was brown and faded. Most of the windows had no shingles, those precious few that remained limped and sagged. It was as thought the house had exhaled deeply.
Walking up the uneven stone steps to the glossy metal door, he noticed a line of crows peering down at him from the crest of the roof. Their black, shiny feathers provided a stark contrast to the dull home.
A fat bronze knocker rested at eyelevel on the door. Grasping it with both hands, he knocked three times. The loud clinging sound startled both him and the birds. They hastily abandoned their lofty perch and flew off into the hazy distance. From behind the door, Harper could hear a muffled shuffling of steps and a barely audible “Just a minute!”
Harper ran a hand through his hair quickly and cleared his throat. Then he waited. Small, half frozen drops of rain began to fall lightly on his shoulders. From behind the door he could still hear someone moving around. He cleared his throat again. A loud metallic click sounded within the heavy door. It creaked open slowly, revealing a small wrinkled figure..."

New Friday thing

So I recently figured out how to make/post videos...and rather than go ape shit and do a ton of these, I've decided to only make a video post on Fridays. So, during the week I'll write and post photos as the need arises (or the mood strikes me) and every Friday post a short "video blog." Enjoy world.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Look here...

Here is a picture essay of my Saturday night. I plan on doing something very soon with pictures...stay tunned.








Fin.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Anxiety

So I'm anxious right now. I have a pretty big-deal test (for me) tomorrow, which, if history repeats itself...I'm going to fail. Worse, I'm having people problems. There are just some people I'm having trouble dealing with right now. Leah thinks I can only take so much of some people, which is true I guess...it still makes me feel like a bad person. It's not that I wish the world was devoid of human beings, but I do wish sometimes that they'd take a step back and leave me alone.

I want to write, but it's not going to happen until later this week. I should go to the gym, but again, not tonight. Which leaves me here, worried about my test. I'm studying in pieces, rather than trying to cram it all in. But I'm worried. Yikes. What am I going to do?

Friday, October 06, 2006

I have found religion

All praise him!

http://www.venganza.org/

Judgement Day

With the exception of a few indiviuals (I'm thinking the Hitlers of the world) most people aren't really bad. Likewise, with the exception of a few (I'm thinking Mother Teresa) most people aren't really good, either. It's all shades of gray. Real people say, think, and do things that are good and bad. How many bad things, truly bad things does it take to make one "bad" or "evil"? Can a thousand acts of "good" undo one extreme act of "evil"?

According to many theologies, there is a divine scorekeeper. He keeps a tally, and when you die you are judged. If the bad pile is heavier than the good one, look out, you're going to hell. How many acts of charity does it take to undo a murder? Or a theft?

These are the questions I'm pondering before I begin writing my next short story, "The Gossamer Trunk." In it, I'm going to explore this question. Who, besides the divine scorekeeper, is qualified to pass judgement on the lives we lead? "Cast the first stone..."

People die and fade away, but many times the actions they do live on...and on. There is no way to undo our wrongs, they are permenant...aren't they? I think about that a lot. From the minute your born, there is no way to start over. Is there? My character is going to meet a person, someone who is dead--and he will be faced with the all the bad this person has done. Despite masive attempts to do good, should this lingering bit of evil be strong, or weak? What will the final impression my protagonist walks away with be? Can a man's good outweigh his evil?

I can't wait to find out.