Saturday, May 02, 2009

WOLVERINE

Leah and I went and saw WOLVERINE. I know, I said I wouldn't go...but "I love my wife." Plus it's Saturday and we didn't know what else to do. So we went and hunkered down. And honestly, it's not as terrible as I'd thought.

But it was still pretty bad. I think the best cinematic X-MEN movie is Bryan Singer's original flick, which in my humble opinion isn't all that great itself.

There were too many character, and the plot was nonsense...but my biggest gripe was

1. The shitty special effects (why did they make Wolvies claws a crappy GCI effect?)

and

2. In a film about Wolverine, why did they snip his balls? The guy has CLAWS ON HIS HANDS and yet this is a lack-luster, bloodless PG-13 movie. I'm not asking for buckets of blood, but come on...you don't fight WITH CLAWS ON YOUR HANDS and not see something red...

Anyway, my sympathies to Becky, whose beloved Gambit is taken down a notch by a douche-y actor with a bad Cajun accent. What cheeses me off about WOLVERINE is that it seems like a lost opportunity.

My quick idea for a Wolverine movie:

Two hour of him bashing the shit out of The Hulk (ala the recent HULK VS. cartoon movie). Maybe have them fight for an hour in the woods and an hour in a city. Have Nick Fury and his Hulkbusters show up, put Hulk down...Wolvie gets pissed off and stomps off to Canada where he tussles with Omega Red.


END CREDITS.

You're welcome Fox.

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