WOLVERINE

Leah and I went and saw WOLVERINE. I know, I said I wouldn't go...but "I love my wife." Plus it's Saturday and we didn't know what else to do. So we went and hunkered down. And honestly, it's not as terrible as I'd thought.

But it was still pretty bad. I think the best cinematic X-MEN movie is Bryan Singer's original flick, which in my humble opinion isn't all that great itself.

There were too many character, and the plot was nonsense...but my biggest gripe was

1. The shitty special effects (why did they make Wolvies claws a crappy GCI effect?)

and

2. In a film about Wolverine, why did they snip his balls? The guy has CLAWS ON HIS HANDS and yet this is a lack-luster, bloodless PG-13 movie. I'm not asking for buckets of blood, but come on...you don't fight WITH CLAWS ON YOUR HANDS and not see something red...

Anyway, my sympathies to Becky, whose beloved Gambit is taken down a notch by a douche-y actor with a bad Cajun accent. What cheeses me off about WOLVERINE is that it seems like a lost opportunity.

My quick idea for a Wolverine movie:

Two hour of him bashing the shit out of The Hulk (ala the recent HULK VS. cartoon movie). Maybe have them fight for an hour in the woods and an hour in a city. Have Nick Fury and his Hulkbusters show up, put Hulk down...Wolvie gets pissed off and stomps off to Canada where he tussles with Omega Red.

END CREDITS.

You're welcome Fox.

Dear WOLVERINE movie: No Thanks

This Friday Fox's latest foray into ruining the X-Men franchise X-MEN ORIGINS:WOLVERINE (how about that title, huh?) comes out. Despite being a huge comic book fan I'm staying home. It's not because the film was leaked on-line a few weeks ago--I wouldn't want to watch it, even it if was free. Why? Well for one thing, I'm 100% done with non-Marvel produced comic book adaptations. The last SPIDERMAN and X-MEN flicks were horrible. X3 was probably the shittiest comic book movie of a Marvel property EVER (and yes, I count FANTASTIC FOUR). They killed characters off, just to kill them off. And like the other, slightly less-crappy X-MEN movies, it was just too jam-packed with characters (they did this because they knew there would be no more sequels). I wanted to give the new movie a fair chance, but after seeing the trailers--and seeing how convoluted it looks and how many characters they're cramming into the film...I decided that I'd seen enough. Why is a young Scott Summers in this film? Why is Gambit? Why is storm? Because they have no idea what they are doing. Because they want asses in the seats. No thanks kids. Maybe Marvel will produce a re-boot once the property reverts back them. Until then, I'm staying away from all these off-shoot X-MEN movies.

"A Bastard's Work is Never Done..."

After talking about it since finishing PULP FICTION, Quentin Tarantino's homage/rip-off of THE DIRTY DOZEN is 12 weeks away from release.

As a fan, I am excited. When I heard that Brad Pitt was going to lead 8 bad-ass Jews in an orgy of Nazi-bloodletting...I was pumped. Projects this long in gestation are either VERY AWESOME or VERY SHITTY. With QT you never really know what you're going to get--other than that fact that it will be bloody and have a kick-ass soundtrack.

Anyway, this week the teaser-trailer "dropped" (as the kids like to say) and the world finally got a look at Tarantino's latest baby. Sadly, after veiwing it twice, I'm a bit underwhelmed by it.

Here's the first trailer for INGLOURIOUS BASTARDS:



It seems to be going for the hokey/low-budget-ness of GRINDHOUSE (which was awesome) and less of the stylish-polish of, say, KILL BILL (which is an awesome, 4-hour flick that was split in two by ugly/evil studio suits).

It really doesn't matter, because I am SO THERE on opening day...but I'm slightly less excited (what IS up with that 'stash Pitt is sporting? Yikes).

Thoughts? Feelings?

CORALINE in 3-D!!!

Look, I'm a sucker for stop-motion animation/clay animation. I don't know why, but I find it MUCH more interesting that CGI (yes, even more than the fab PIXAR stuff).

Maybe because it's so tactile and real.

Anyway, I also LOVE 3-D movies (even though I've only seen a few). CORALINE, which is based on a novel written by Neil Gaiman and directed by the dude who directed THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, is both stop-motion and (in certain locations) in 3-D.

Slam-dunk.

The flick is creepy and moody--not quiet suitable for kids under 8-10 years old. The art direction is wonderful. The plot, while dark, is no darker than the 1,000's of Fairy Tales adults have been shoving down our throats for eons. CORALINE features a smart, resourceful, and ultimately brave FEMALE protagonist (something I wish wasn't so rare). Even though she's getting older, I think it's the kind of film my baby sister should see--only because it is so female-centric. Not only does Coraline save herself but (mild spoiler) she saves her parents and defeats a terrible monster.

So how was the 3-D? It was good. Unlike the 3-D re-release of THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, CORALINE was filmed in 3-D. That means there were more shots filmed with the explicit intent to wow in 3-D. The glasses are polarized, so they're not the lame "blue-and-red" 3-D from our youth. They fit over my regular glasses just fine (in case you were wondering). The theater we saw it in was packed, and I was sitting next to a little boy who--like much of the audience exclaimed whenever something would "lash out" at us.

Hell, even some of the previews made good use of the 3-D.

Being the inquisitive youth that I am, I did take my glasses off for a second just to see what the picture looked like (it looked like a blurry mess). I recommend this movie because:

1. The style is unique and deserves to be revered.

2. The story focuses on a young girl, one that does not conform to stereotypical convention--Coraline is a regular girl, but she kicks ass and chews bubble gum when things get crazy. And I like that. I wish ALL OF US male pigs would figure it out more often that chicks can do more than be helpless.

3. The 3-D effects are pretty damn cool. It's still a novelty, but one that's (almost) worth the extra $4 and the noisy little kids (and the crowds). If I owned a cinemaplex, I'd demand my theater show 3-D movies. We went out of our way just to see this film in 3-D. Meaning: I changed my habits just to enjoy this added perk. Take note Hollywood!!!

So go see it.

Khaaaan!!!

I'm a good husband.

Unlike a lot jerks, I'll go and see a movie I already know before hand I:

A. Won't like

and

B. Know wasn't made for me.

I do this because I love my wife, and because I know she probably does the same for me sometimes (God knows I drag her to a lot of concerts...to band's she's never heard of). So last night, I bit the bullet and took her to see TWILIGHT. It was just as bad as the commercials make it out to be. I think that somewhere, maybe in a parallel universe--TWILIGHT is an awesome CW (or is it WB?) weekly network drama. Maybe as a Fox Family/Sci-Fi made-for-TV movie.

As something I had to pay $9.00 to see--it was a turd.

But it's all good. Our theater was empty, so I got to lay down. It was nice. Oh, the soundtrack wasn't half bad (awesome Radiohead song over the credits, from IN RAINBOWS). Some of the previews were pretty good...

Of course, I am planning on making Leah pay (because I'm not all good). You see, last week I told her:

"Baby, I'll go see TWILIGHT--but only if you watch STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN with me."
That's right. We're boldly going where many nerds have gone before tonight. I realize that the awesomeness of KHAN is a pretty poor punishment for brooding teenagers (with fangs). In fact, it's hardly a punishment at all because I know she'll like it. Why?

Because:

A. It fucking rocks

and

B. It has the best STAR TREK line of all time (yes, even better than "Live long and prosper"): "Khaaaaaan!!!"

and

C. Shats the shit

I figure it you're going to be a nerd (and make no mistake about it, if you like TWILIGHT...you are a nerd) you may as well also like some GOOD nerd-flicks. Apparently she's planning to see it again next weekend in KC with my sister--I won't go, unless I can get her to watch STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME (which also rocks).

Black Dynamite

Check out this (real) movie trailer (warning, it is a red band trailer, meaning it's f-ed up):



Not only does that look AMAZING...but even if it didn't, I have to see this for the Captain Kangaroo cameo.

No SOLACE

Just back from the movies. Me and Leah spent the day at the movies, we saw ROLE MODELS (which was hilarious and awesome) and the Bond flick QUANTUM OF SOLACE--which was terrible.

The last Bond film, CASINO ROYALE, was an fantastic re-booting/return to form for the series. Though his casting might have been a little controversial, I think Daniel Craig is the second best Bond ever (with Sir Sean being the first). I had high hopes for Craig's second outing as Bond, but those hopes were dashed, pretty quickly in fact.

The first problem I had was the opening--first things first, these movies are supposed to open in a very specific way. They've been opening the same way since the 1960s. Bond walks out, shoots the camera, there's blood...then the pre-credit sequence begins. The last film got away with not following the formula because we got to see Bond get his "00" staus (but he DID shoot the camera). QUANTUM decides to wait until the end. Bond shoots the camera (though the mission is over) and the credits roll. True, this is a bit of a nit-pick, but I've been a fan of this series since I was a kid...so I feel like I have the right to be picky, I grew up with this shit.

My second gripe with the pre-title sequence, is that it's a simple car case. I'm not sure if the filmmakers realize this, but the car chase is dead. It was killed in the 1990s. I was at the funeral, please, please stop with the car chases. If you're going to do one, at least make it interesting.

My other gripes are technical gripes-- plot issues and camera work. I know these movies are supposed to be Shakespeare or anything, but for God's sake let's at least have what's at stake made clear. There's something about Boliva's water-shortage being staged so that a coup can occur--but everyone thinks the bad guys are really after oil (which doesn't exist, or does it? Someone takes a bath in a lot of oil...). To make matters worse, Bond's quest for vengence is murky--who exactly does he blame? Not Mr. White or Mr. Greene--her ex-boyfriend (who was dead, but not really?). But at the end he DOESN'T kill this person??? WTF.

Which brings up the camera work. QUANTUM OF SOLACE commits the cardinal sin of action movies, it doesn't let you see what's happening. I know there is a school of thought that says "make the camera shakey, with lots of quick cuts...and the audience will feel like they're there" or worse "they feel part of the action." Well I don't want to be part of the action, I want to SEE the action. There is a roof-top chase early on in the film that is unwatchable--there are clearer scenes in CLOVERFIELD for cryin' out loud (and that film's camera work is (an inentional) mess). Half the time I couldn't tell who was doing what. The director is clearly an action-director n00b.

I realize this rant is full of spoliers, but honestly--even if you read this, you won't have it spoiled for you...because at no time is there anything to spoil. Stuff just kinda happens. Nothing is really very clear or interesting. I leaned over at one point and whispered to Leah "This is boring." And that right there sums up QUANTUM.

So what was good about it?

There wasn't much, but I was able to think up some stuff that was good about it:

Mr. Liter.

Felix Liter, the CIA agent who helped Bond in the previous film. He returns, and though he says little, I totally identify with his character (tough guy, restrained from doing what he thinks is right by a snivling boss who's more concerned about money). Sadly, Felix is kept to the sidelines.

There is also one fantastic scene at an opera that is actually well done. But the rest is pretty crappy (I'm sick of Bond being on the outs with MI6, too...the guy goes rogue so much, it's a wonder they still give him a paycheck).

The next Bond flick should (in my opinon) open with Bond killing the remaining Quantum members, and let this current plot thread end for good. Perhaps a stand-alone mission will be better than this poorly executed sequel.

Jason & Leah Visit Chicago---Zack & Miri Make a Porno

So this weekend was pretty weird. Friday I drove up to Chicago with Leah and her Dad. The road up is pretty boring, but her Dad's caddy is pretty cherry (I like to roast my buns on the heated leather seats). We went for many, unmentionable reasons (i.e. I'm going to keep my ass out of the fire by not getting into it).

We had a pretty good time--Leah secured us a fucking fantastic hotel room (for mega-cheap, on the "miracle mile" downtown no less), got trapped in an abandoned train, we visited the Museum of Science and Industry (where we saw baby chicks and a WWII German U-Boat captured by the US Navy), then we ate real Chicago pizza (as one does when in Chicago). We got to pal around with Leah's Dad at this really cool bar, and I got to see a better/fun side to him (which was cool).

But I got pretty bummed out Friday night at dinner. We ate with some of her relatives, and they provided an anti-anti-depressant--the usual crap, talking "career" with me...or my lack of one...one of her relatives told her Dad to get rid of me....good times. To top it off, we met everyone at this super nice/fancy hotel...and I was dressed like a complete tool. I'd brought a nice black button-up shirt, and was planning on changing before going to dinner...but we were a little late getting to Chicago (stupid traffic) and we ended up having to go straight to the restaurant. So there I was, everyone dressed up (some in suits) and I'm sitting there, eating lobster in a fucking zip-up hoodie. Holy shit. No wonder these people think I'm a loser/douche.

We got to come home late Saturday--and Sunday we went to the movies!

Me and Leah love podcasts. I know it's an old fad (for the record, I was listening to them in 2004 before they were mainstream) but I still like 'em. Anyway, we both love podcasts...but we very rarely agree on the same one. EXCEPT FOR ONE--SMODcast. SMODcast is writer/director/geek Kevin Smith's podcast, and it's fantastic. Leah really likes Smith's filmography she was stoked about seeing his latest flick ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO. I was a bit skeptical, Smith being (in my opinon) a (loveable) hack. The subject matter was a bit off-putting as well (you better believe I shortend the title when I was buying tickets). But the film turned out to be very funny and actually very sweet. I'll go out on a limb and say that it's Smith's best film--ever. It's a shame more people won't be seeing it. So if you're 18+ and bored, go see it.

Anyway, it's Tuesday night and I'm supposed to be working on my novel--but instead I've been reading. I just finished that Michael Chabon novel THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY (I know, I've been reading it forever). Though it kinda lagged there at the end, overall it was pretty damn good read. Solid characters and a bittersweet ending. Chabon is quickly becoming my new favorite author. I'm changing pace a bit for my next read--I'm tacking my massvie complete SHERLOCK HOLMES novels. I'll probably work on my book tomorrow.

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO

Tonight me and Leah are going down to the Tivoli to see Hayao Miyazaki's (the "Japanese Walt Disney) 1988 film classic MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO.

I've been fascinated by Miyazaki every since I went to a lecture about him a few years ago with my friend Andy (who is really into Japanese stuff). So far, all I've seen is SPIRITED AWAY (which is fantastic) but tonight that's going to change.

The comparisons to Dinsey are really only superficial (in that the films are animated, and highly successful). For the most part, Miyazaki's work seems more thought out and thought-provokings (i.e. it doesn't hit you over the head with a cutesy message). SPIRITED AWAY was very imaginative, and a little dark (for a kids movie).

I am glad tonight's film is dubbed in English, because I'm a lazy American. Well...actually, I don't mind reading subtitles, but at 12:00AM my brain does get a bit fuzzy.

I think that dubbing is lame when done for live-action films (where it is woefully obvious and mroe than a bit ridculous looking). For animation, however, I see nothing wrong with a little dubbing--especially when the target audience is children, who cannot always read (or ready very fast). Anyway, I highly...HIGHLY recommend SPIRITED AWAY. I'll let you know about TOTORO.

Everyone's "blogging" About It & My Busy Concert-going Week

Well I've had an interesting couple of days. This past weekend has been a lot fun. As I mentioned earlier in the week, I planned on hanging out with my old college buddies Paul and Katie. Well Leah went out the night before, and it made me sad. So, rather than do the same thing to her--I included her in our reindeer games.

Much fun was had. Rather than write about it though, I'd just recommend you read Katie's most recent blog post--where you can get a synopsis of all the relevant stuff that went down.

Speaking of other people's blogs (I try to mention other people as much as possible, because I get a kick whenever I'm mentioned on another blog), Leah has a really thought-provoking blog about changing her name. You should go check it out.

Can you believe that I'm going to be married in like two weeks? Yikes. Me neither. Anyway, I'd never really thought too much about her changing her name, but her post really made me think.

What else is going on? Oh. Last night me and Leah went and saw THE DARK CRYSTAL down at the Tivoli. I'd never seen it before (Leah had, she was real excited). It's this strange 80's Jim Henson/Frank Oz fantasy movie. Lots of crazy puppets. To be honest, I didn't think the story was all that great (a bit derivative, like most fantasy--I'm sorry to say) but the production values were amazing. Henson and company did a fantastic job creating a living-breathing world with their puppets. Critters great and small scurry, crawl, and ooze all over the place. It was truly amazing considering it blew away 99.99% of similar fantasy/sci-fi flicks made in the past few years WITH CGI.

That's about it. I'm working on my writing, I'd say more but I only dissapoint everyone when I say too much about that (how is that book going???). This, my last full week before the wedding (and more importantly ROCK BAND 2 drop) is jam-packed with awesomeness. Tuesday I'm going to see heavy-metal icons Motorhead. Wednesday I'm going with Leah to see Vampire Weekend (great new band, those lads). Friday night I want to see GRINDHOUSE at the midnight Tivoli movie. And Saturday I'm attending yet another concert: Journey, Heart, and Cheap Trick.

Exciting stuff. Hopefully my head won't explode. Anyone wishing to see GRINDHOUSE should contact me, as I think it would be fun to go with a bunch of people to see that.

That is all.

BREAKFAST Tonight...

One of my favorite things in the Loop is the Tivoli theater. It's an "art house" that occasionally plays some really good flicks mainstream movies. Leah and I saw THE DEPARTED there, for example.

The best part of the summer is "Midnight Movies" at the Tivoli. At the end of July they start having late-night revivals of cult films (both new and old). A few years back I saw DR. STRANGELOVE and THE MUPPET MOVIE. Great, great stuff.



Anyway, tonight me and Leah are going to see that great ode to 80's teen-angst THE BREAKFAST CLUB. At midnight. Tonight. Now, I own this movie on DVD (because it's awesome), but as someone born in 1983...I didn't get to see it on the big-screen...so I'm excited. There's a big trend against the movies today. People my age and younger are opting to skip going out (instead choosing to illegally download it or wait 3 months for films to appear on DVD). For some reason, I'm different. I really enjoy going to the movies (even though as I've gotten older the manners of theater patrons has deteriorated). For me there's just something magical about seeing a movie in a big dark room, with total strangers.

*Don't you forget about me*

TROPIC THUNDER

Ah, summer where did it go? Many look to the changing of the leaves to signify the end of yet another lazy-hazy summer. But not me, because even though I'm no longer in school I'm still a kid who gauges summer by the movies. Last night me and Leah went to the last midnight screening for a big-deal summer flick. A superhero movie? Believe it or not...no, it was a comedy (apparently Hollywood can still make other kinds of movies after all).

It would be downright criminal of me to spoil TROPIC THUNDER's enormous cameo-list. Suffice to say: the film is packed, wall-to-wall, with the stars. Since it's the films worst-kept secret, I will say that Tom Cruise is hilarious as a bald, fat, maniacal studio executive. The admission price alone is worth it just to see his "victory dance." Other than Cruise, the film is Robert Downey Jr.'s show (what a summer that guy's had). Much has been made of his "blackface" portrayal...it's a hilarious attack on method acting that is anything but racist. In fact, the entire movie is one big-ass/guns blazing attack on the ludicrous world of La-La-Land itself. Anyone thinking TROPIC THUNDER is a war movie is dead wrong (pun intended). That Ben Stiller (co-star, co-writer, and director of the film) would make such a send-up of his profession AND STILL GET SO MANY A-LIST ACTORS TO CAMEO is a credit to how likable/how many friends Stiller must have in the biz.

While not a complete, wall-to-wall "yuk fest" like many reviewers led me to believe it was, TROPIC THUNDER's humor is consistently funny and highly unpredictable (which is good because the plot is predictable as hell--if you've seen the classic Martin/Short/Chase comedy THREE AMIGO'S, you'll be able to guess what's going to happen next). Unlike many comedies, the fun isn't in the situation but how the characters react to that situation.

The only aspect of this film that disappointed me was Jack Black (who apes both Eddie Murphy and Jim Belushi). With so many quick cameos, and the Stiller/Downey main plot, I felt like Black was reduced to the background one too many times. The guy could have been much funnier than the script allowed. Despite this missed opportunity, TROPIC THUNDER is the year's best comedy (so far). Check it out, and don't forget to enjoy all those 'splosions.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

Went and saw PINEAPPLE EXPRESS on Thursday night. For some reason (probably because Leah has Friday off) we've been going to the late show on Thursday nights. It's fun.

Anyway, it's your typical stoner-comedy with a twist--it's also an homage to those '80's "buddy" action movies. The smoke billows and the bullets blaze. It's the sort of comedy that pimply High Schoolers love (even though they're not always old enough). If I was part of DARE or MADD or whatever, I'd be pretty upset by the film--one (hilarious) scene involves two pot-heads raising some quick cash by selling to 13 year olds.

Essentially the film is a "on the run" action/comedy. A strange sort of Odd-Coupling between a slacker Process Server and his laid-back dealer. The film works, until the end when there is a tacked on/forced "being stoned all the time is bad" message. I guess I felt like it was forced because it comes out of left field AND is quickly abandoned by the end of the film. It might have been a joke (or the filmmakers trying to be ironic) but in a moronic film (it's lovably moronic), irony needs to be anything but subtle.

Much like the late Heath Ledgers turn as The Joker in the new Batman flick, I was surprised by the odd casting of pretty-boy actor/director James Franco. Franco plays a goofy drug dealer that, while unrealistic, is nonetheless convincing. I applaud Franco's comedic talents, and hope he doesn't go back to playing "sweetheart" roles. Worth checking out if you enjoyed the other recent Judd Apatow productions (SUPEBAD, 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, KNOCKED UP, etc.) Everyone else either stay away or rent.

THE DARK KNIGHT

Believe the hype: THE DARK KNIGHT is the summer's best movie. The perfect blend of popcorn-spectacle and complex human drama. Oh yeah, and it's also the greatest Batman movie ever committed to film.

Director/writer Christopher Nolan's gritty and realistic take on Batman blew me away in 2005's BATMAN BEGINS--the sequel ups the ante by not only giving us an interesting (and flawed) hero...but unlike BEGINS, we also get not one but two incredible villains. (there are two in BEGINS, but only one has any menace).

Much has been said about Heath Ledger's take on the Joker. I was skeptical, but believe me when I say that for me, Heath IS the Joker. For get Romero, forget Nicholson. Ledger's sadistic clown has been updated for the post 9/11 world as an psychopathic-anarchist who's crimes have nothing to do with "loot" and everything to do with undermining society. In short, the Joker is a terrorist. But he's more than that, he's also a metaphor for all the evils that try to chip away at world we live in. From the first scene you can't take your eyes off him.

The story (no spoilers) is all about how much it sucks to be the good guy (and how hard it is to do the right thing). Like another famous sequel, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, this movie is all about the good guys losing. Over and over again. It's a dark and gloomy world, and until the final few scenes--one without a single ray of hope. It's easy to do nothing, to sit back and let the world crumble...it's very difficult to stand up and fight for what you believe in.

And the costs are high.

Whereas Marvel's IRON MAN (the summers other great superhero flick) is the world we wish we had--THE DARK KNIGHT is world we're stuck with. Fear and corruption rule, and the only people that can do anything about it is you and me.

THE DARK KNIGHT is an amazing achievement of populist entertainment, one that demands to be seen on the big screen. Ledger will be nominated come award season. Nolan will be nominated come award season. Ten years from now, critics will look back and cite this as THE watershed film that turn comic book films to art.

CHOOSE the DESTRUCTOR!

“Oh I get it! Very Cute. Whatever we think of- if we think of J Edgar Hoover, J Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us.”

For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about GHOSTBUSTERS. Specifically the part at the end, where Gozer the Gozerian has them "choose" what is going to come down from *???* and kill everyone. Bill Murry tries to take an intellectual approach to this, asking all the Ghostbusters to clear their heads (so they can sit there and decided something easy, I guess). I've always been a bit peeved at the logic in the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.



I mean, technically...shouldn't J Edgar Hoover have come down???

Anyway, in the shower I was thinking: "If you had to choose the Destructor, what would you pick?" I thought about this longer than anyone probably ever should--and what I came up with is: Texas toast. Warm, buttery, crispy Texas toast. Perhaps Ray's choice of the giant Marshmallow has tainted my choice to yet another food item (and maybe not).

All I know is, when the end comes, I'd rather it come from a piece of Texas toast (giant or regular sized). How about you? If you were a Ghostbuster, what would you choose as the Destructor?

WALL-E

Well I'm back home.

There. That's taken care of...now let me talk about WALL-E:

Pretty much every time I get home from a Pixar movie, I can't help but glow (and wish that I worked for them). As I've gotten older I find the magic of Disney has all but left me...but not when it comes to Pixar. There's just something about those movies (perhaps it's the perfect blend of story and cutting edge animation?). Anyway, even before I knew what it was about I wanted to see WALL-E. Pixar is just that good in my book.

When I was in junior college I took a "Film as Literature" class that totally changed my life. One of the many revelations I had while taking this class was: Charlie Chaplin was amazing. Most people today have written Chaplin off, which is a shame because I can't think of a modern "talkie" actor today who is funnier. I mean that. Seriously...if you don't believe me go rent MODERN TIMES. I defy you to watch without laughing (cocaine mistakenly but on food instead of salt...genius!). Anyway, there's something magical about Chaplin--and I think it's because of the medium he worked in. Chaplin had to convey everything with body language...which meant he had to be an above-average actor at all times.

Why do I bring up Chaplin? Well the first 2/3 of WALL-E is basically a Chaplin flick (with robots). That's how ballsy Pixar is--they actually put out a (nearly) silent kids flick in 2008. That they did this is a miracle, that it works so well is an even greater one. True, there is sound (and humans at the end that talk) but the bulk of the film is about two heroes that don't speak...just beep and whistle.

I won't spoil the plot, but I will say that it's the most lovingly-apocalyptic movie I've ever seen. It's about the end of the world...and love. Al Gore (and all his green people) will love it. And yet, even if you disagree with Global Warming, you can't help but shudder at the world it depicts. Our excess is alarming, but if the film's message is to be believed: love can save us (and there is still hope). It's pretty damn deep for a kids movie, but not super preachy or artificially didactic (like HAPPY FEET).

Wall-e himself is adorable, a delightful mix of R2-D2 and Chaplin's Tramp. Like the George Lucas robot, Wall-e is so likable because beneath his cold metal skin lies a beating heart. Sitting in the darkness I totally believed in Wall-e. No catchy pop songs, no inane pop culture references...just a lonely robot who likes "HELLO, DOLLY!" and dreams of getting to hold someone's hand. Besides IRON MAN, WALL-E is the only summer movie that's truly worth damn. Go see it.

IRON MAN

Went and saw IRON MAN last night--it was fantastic.

I love seeing these big, "event" movies on opening night. Why? Because the crowd that's there is so enthusiastic. In case you don't know, IRON MAN is about a guy who's in the weapons business. A rich jerk (though a cool rich jerk), Tony Stark profits from the sale of death (essentially). Then one day something bad happens to Tony...next thing he knows, he's being held by terrorist (this time in Afghanistan--rather than Vietnam like the comic books). These guys want Tony to build them weapons, or they're going to kill him. Being a genius, Stark builds something alright...but not a missile for his new friends.

From there the story of IRON MAN is all about a guy who finally wakes up and realizes that he's been the "problem" his entire life. As an act of retribution, he decides to start being the "solution." It's great to watch, and better than the typical superhero story because Stark never becomes that lame-ass spandex wearing Boy Scout (I'm looking at you Superman).

The film's effects were brilliantly realized (though most of what you see if absurd, it looks pretty damn real). Also, Robert Downey Jr. really gets to shine here. I've seen two films this year with Downey in them, and both have been fantastic (the other being CHARLIE BARTLETT). I'm so glad that guy got clean, because he's such a good actor.

Overall, IRON MAN was a good start to what many are predicting will be one of the best Summer Movie Seasons in decades. Oh, and if you go...stay until all the credits are over so you can see Sam Jackson's cameo as Nick Fury (only comic book geeks will truly understand this last scene...but basically it hints that we're going to get an Avengers movie. Nice).

GODFATHER script as "Pop-art"

I can't believe someone did this. The Limemonkey is a pretty big fan of classic cinema (thank you "Film as Literature"). Anyway, I was trolling around IMDB.com when I saw a link to this masterpiece:



It's hard to tell from this tiny pic, but that's the entire script of the first GODFATHER film. Usually I have no opinion of these sort of pictures (I really hate those puzzles that consist of 10,000 tiny pictures that all add up to make a larger one--they are so hard)..but this is pretty cool. You can read all about it here (you can click on the picture there and blow it waaaaay up to where you can read it).

Oh, F------

Two quick things...

I'm sitting here, messing around on the net before I have to go, and I noticed on IMDB that Simon Pegg did co-write RUN FATBOY RUN (which in my last post, I said he didn't). I find it strange to see so many people bashing this film (as being too "predictable," no shit...it's a romantic-comedy...who is really shocked when he gets the girl at the end??? Seriously).

Anyway, last weekend (or was it the weekend before? I can't remember) I went over to Jimu's apartment and talked with Davu while playing SMASH BROTHERS on the Wii--somehow in the course of our conversation he told me about this list.

Who keeps track of this shit? Who has the time???

RUN FATBOY RUN

I woke up (sorta) early today...okay it was like 10:00AM but that's early for me. I got up at this (highly unreasonable) hour, on my day off--because Simon Pegg has a new movie out. Sitting in the AMC, waiting for the movie to start, I realized that Pegg is probably my new favorite comedic actor. I haven't seen a single movie he's been in that wasn't kick ass (which is good news for J.J. Abram's STAR TREK movie, Pegg will be playing Scotty). Once again, Pegg didn't let me down. RUN FAT BOY RUN was not only hilarious, but also sweet/touching and a little inspirational.

Pegg plays a loser who stands his (very pregnant) girlfriend up on the day of their wedding. Years later, he is shocked to find that she is dating (and about to be married) to a yuppie-American (played by Hank Azaria...who does like a 1,000 voices on THE SIMPSONS). Facing the prospect of losing the woman he still loves--and his son (Azaria plans on whisking the family off to Chicago once he gets hitched with Pegg's woman) the lovable loser realizes he has only one shot at retribution...he has to finish a marathon. Is that very logical? No. Does it work? Hell yes. Pegg's character is a horribly out-of-shape, drinking, smoking machine. Squeezing into tight running shorts and a decades old David Bowie shirt to go jogging is the LAST thing this guy should be doing...but he does because he needs to prove to himself (as well as the mother of his child) that he CAN finish something he starts...



Oh, he also wants to show up that prick who's trying to steal his woman (who is also in the race)...and his best-friend is going to be killed if he doesn't start--and finish--the marathon. But mostly it's about proving himself.

Anyway, I usually don't like British comedy...not even Monty Python (which, I guess means I'm not much of a nerd...oh sure, HOLY GRAIN is funny enough...but FLYING CIRCUS? Eh...not my "cup of tea.") but Pegg works for me. He has an understated, less in-you-face style. Sure, some of the laughs are a bit juvenile...but they never seemed forced (or worse, a joke simply inserted because the script demands a joke). Even though he didn't write his film, it still holds up to the quality I've come to expect from his collaborations with Edgar Wright (SHAUN OF THE DEAD, HOT FUZZ).

Go see RUN FATBOY RUN, it's damn good.