Friday, August 31, 2007

New Macca Single SUCKS

I downloaded a new Paul McCartney song a few days ago. I didn't rush out to buy the new album when it came out a few months ago. I thought his last one CHAOS AND CREATION IN THE BACKYARD was actually really good...but like so many rockers gone gray, McCartney had mellowed a bit further than I was willing to go. Still, I recognize that it was a good record (Jason Falkner even played on a track!). And there were a few good songs.

But this whole Heather Mills divorce thing has really soured me on Sir Paul. He used to be my favorite Beatle, but now days I try not to think about him. It's messed up that he and Ringo are the only two left, and sometimes (given Paul's bad press) I wish they were gone too.

Anyway, I downloaded "Nod Your Head" because it was the free single of the week on iTUNES (I think today might be the last day for it to be free). Anyway, it's pretty god-awful. The song is only like 1:50 or so, but I could barely listen to it all. For some reason, Paul got the idea to try and be "edgy." I know I just complained that the last record was a bit too mellow...but this song reminded me of the time Pat Boone tried to go Metal. Yikes.

JJSaurus??? (A 1-18-08 Update)

So I was browsing Ain't It Cool News the other day, and noticed there was an update on the whole 1-18-08' front. Apparently some guy who has a friend who is friends (or someone related to an editor) dished about the creature--dubbed JJsaurus by AICN. Seems this thing has a bit of a parasite problem (which is interesting because PARASITE was one of the films working titles/aliases). Apparently in the flick the armed forces encounter a bit of a problem when fighting JJsaurus...seems that heavy artillery dislodges these smaller parasite creatures from JJsaurus.

I'm reminded of the rumors that this thing is somehow related to a whale (which are host to numerous parasites, including barnacles which fix themselves to a whales flank). On paper all of this might make sense/be cool...but I can't help but shudder at the thought of actually SEEING this on screen. Frankly, I think it will be lame.

Also, there is a pretty good report of a longer teaser that's being prepared...which includes (apparently) a soldiers dire words. When asked by Rob what the creature is he says: "We don't know, but it's winning." Scary stuff. This same report also seems to suggest that their might be an illness/disease associated with this creature and/or it's appearance (a companion of Rob's complains of being sick/looks like she's going to vomits and starts "crying blood"). This goes along with a story I read a while back (can't remember where) that basically said there would be some zombie elements to this movie.

What does it all mean JJ?

Thursday, August 30, 2007


After dinner tonight, I picked up Guitar Hero...and man, was I on FIRE!!!! I got 6 STARS!!!! I didn't even think that was possible!!! And check out that SCORE!!! AMAZING!!! I am a GOD at this game!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

More Photoshop

I know, this is probably not that interesting...but I'm (still) having fun with my new toy. Thanks again Leah...

By they way, all these pics are photos I took. The following come from Chicago:

UPDATE: Okay perverts, here is the untouched they aren't having sex:

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Monday, August 27, 2007

Three (four?) days of Rutabaga Fries

That's right, I've been cooking again...

Actually I pretty much do all the cooking here at the Limemonkey Ranch these days (not complaining, I like it...just stating a fact). A few weeks ago me and Leah went to a local bookstore and browsed the discount cookbooks. I picked up a book by this guy Chef Robert "Bobo" was a cookbook for kids called CHEF BOBO'S GOOD FOOD COOKBOOK: SMART RECIPES FOR HAPPY, HEALTHY KIDS. Since I'm cooking for two (very big) kids, I got the book. I've never heard of him before, but Chef Bobo is sorta famous. He works in a trendy NYC private school, his goal in life is to get kids to eat healthier, more natural foods. Leah teased me about the book, but it actually is very good.

The first thing I knew we had to try was the Rutabaga Fries. It sounded weird (I didn't even know what a rutabaga looked like) but the picture LOOKED like fries. And Chef Bobo proclaimed them to be good. So last night, at the grocery store, I hunted for rutabagas. I found them in a corner of the produce section, cordoned off with all the other strange, "untouchable" veggies no one knows what to do with. Most young people today don't know what beets or sweet potatoes are...let alone a rutabaga. What a sad state. Anyway, I bought three and took them home. I cooked up two cheeseburgers for me and Leah...and on the side we had rutabaga fries.

There was several problems, though. First off, I used too much spice to enliven what I thought would be a tasteless root. Leah and I had trouble with all the ground red pepper (a spice that I used to be able to eat by the spoonful when I was that I'm not I'm again susceptible to it's powers) that I used. Secondly, I didn't let them cook long enough. I had also used too much oil, which was sizzling loudly in the oven leading me to believe they were done. They weren't. So after a few bites, I loaded them back up into the oven and tried again. This time some came out kinda burnt.

Luckily, even burned these things are good. And since I didn't know how far one rutabaga would go--I still had two left over. So tonight, along with my mushroom minute steak...we had rutabaga fries. These were less seasoned (no red pepper) and not swimming in oil. Still, they weren't all the way done in places (though their exteriors were mostly brownish-black). Thus, I have figured out the problem--I am slicing them too thin. I need to make rutabaga STEAK fries...not thin STRING fries. Tonight's were MUCH better, but I still see room for improvement.

Thankfully I have one and a half rutabagas left, so tomorrow we'll see if I can't get it right!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

If I had $300 million...I wouldn't tell you (sorry)

Tonight is the big $300 million POWERBALL and Leah bought a ticket (how can you not when the prize gets so large?). We sat in bed and talked about what we'd do if we won (which is really the reason I play...just to be able to "what-if"). The conversation was actually not as much fun as it used to be. We both realized that if we won such a large amount of money, we'd have to keep it a secret. I hate to say it, but we both know a number of people who would probably try and hit us up for money.

I don't mind helping people, especially those that I know and love...but several of these people are the sort that have been getting a lot of help for too long. I fear this money would only insight jealousy among many of our friends, too. I don't blame them. I mean, me and Leah are doing okay...but we're still struggling along. If we had a friend who could buy nearly anything--we'd be a little jealous.

So we decided that we'd live (close) to our current means, and not tell a soul that we'd won (save the lawyer/accountant that we'd have to hire). This, of course, would mean that SOME lies would have to be told. Leah suggested that we could have a child sooner, and that she could go to Grad school while I took care of the little tyke and wrote (or tried to write). But I know that this would appear very suspicious to our friends and family ("your girl is about to have a baby!! Why don't you have a job?"). Leah also expressed a desire to add a million (or so) to the wedding fund. This too would arouse suspicion. Leah suggested that we could inform "some" people but not "all" people. Well this wouldn't work...everyone knows that "people" have a habit of talking.

And even if we didn't tell a soul, Leah and I aren't know for our ability to keep a secret (or our ability NOT to buy people gifts). Plus, if I won the lotto, one of the first things I'd want to do is go off and spend a month in Hawaii (which would arouse some suspicion as well). So with all these things in mind, I wanted to tear up our ticket. Leah didn't let me...but I don't think I'll be playing anymore, no matter how big the pot gets. The troubles that much money could remedy are outnumbered by the problems it would inherently create. And who needs that?

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Things have quieted down on the 01-18-08 front, but I still keep checking the film's website...ever-ready for an update. Then today to my shock, the website is gone--visitors are now routed to the official Paramount website (where you can now watch the 01-18-08 trailer). Anyway, the mystery seems to be over. The photos are gone...what were they trying to tell us?

I guess we'll find out in January.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pitfall of becoming famous #1,986

Eventually, if you become famous enough--they'll make a movie about you and your life story. Who would play YOU in a movie? Me? I have no idea, I guess some sort of puppet or perhaps a shaved chimp. Sometimes it can be flattering when they make a movie out of your life. Sometimes you get a real hunk/sex goddess to play you...

Such is not the case for poor Bob Dylan. I can't believe who they got to play him in an upcoming, big screen bio-pic.

If this happened to me, I think I'd cry first...and then I'd just have to laugh.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

One in Four

I can't believe how much of dying thing reading has become. I knew that reading for pleasure was a dying thing...but this is just astounding to me. As someone who has always dreamed of writing a book...I find that this article has left me with a lot of things to think about (namely: are books still relevant anymore?).

Click and...Prepare to be horrified.

Welcome to the 400,000 Club

Shit yeah!!! Joined the 400,000 club..finally!!!

Giddy up cowboy!

My American Fiction to World War I class just started, but already I'm excited! We started reading this book by James Fenimore Cooper called THE DEERSLAYER(which by the way, is a really bad ass title). At first, I wasn't looking forward to it. My buddy Paul had already started reading it and he said it was slow...then I found out in class that Twain wrote this giant essay tearing the book to pieces (if Twain hated it, what hope did the book have with little 'ol me?).

Anyway, the book is AMAZING! I love it (though I must admit, I'm only 80 pages into it). I'm not a big "outdoors" type person, nor am I a "manly-man's-man" either...but for some reason this books speaks to me (at least, the part of me swimming in testosterone). The descriptions of the natural setting has been breathtaking--both in quality and quantity. Unlike say, a Tolkien who describes every leaf on every tree...Cooper resists the urge to over paint on his canvas. That said, unlike a Hemingway who only gives you the sparest details, when Cooper sees something worth looking at--he gives it to you. Oh boy does he give it to you. Check out the description of the lake in the third chapter...wonderful. I was a little concerned with the plot/action (or really, lack thereof) but the explosive end of chapter four changed my mind (come on--Indians jumping onto boats, gun fights, what's not to love about that?).

I'm not sure what happened, but recently I've been getting into Westerns. THE DEERSLAYER isn't a Western, but it has some of the basic ingredients of a Western (lawlessness, frontier-outpost living, desolation, Indians, etc.). I guess it's because Leah's dad likes them so much (he passed this love onto her). We sat and watched THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY the other night--it was fucking amazing. I saw A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS my last night on the job at Uni-Guard (it also blew me away). Sunday we went to the mall and I bought the third installment of Leone's "Man with no name" trilogy, FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE. Can't wait to watch it (hmm...homework's done, maybe tonight?).

I used to hate Westerns, now I find myself drawn to them. I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with my recent push into the "real" world. Maybe I find comfort in them...or perhaps I like the way everyone in a Western has a place. Leone's films are great because the good guys are never too good, though. Maybe I like his flawed heroes because they make it okay for me to be flawed. I'm not a "bad guy" but I'm not Gary Cooper, either.

Rejected again!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Apartment Tour

Last post about the new apartment (promise), but my folks wanted to see more (actually my Mom saw the last pics and thought the place "looked small" so I had to shoot a rebuttal video).

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Traditional "Back-to-School" Post

Yep, it's that time again...for the last time(?). Tomorrow I have to (yikes) get up early and go to class. My first class of the new semester is my Art History class (taken because I have too many English classes). Then I have American Fiction to WWI (with my friends Paul and Katie). That should be good. I'm not really looking forward to the Art class. On Tuesday I have Shakespeare and Prose and Poetry of the Victorian Period (which, honestly, I'm not looking forward to either).

I'm glad I have all my classes early on in the day (in case I ever find a job...), but after spending the past three months working the third shift I regret not going for afternoon classes.

I feel strange being out here, but not in the dorms. Living out here in the apartment is great, but it feels like I'm in a really nice hotel. It's too big to be a small to be a house. I was worried about living with Leah, but I think that's going to be fine. The big thing now is just finding a job. I feel like shit not having one. Leah has two!!! I took her to work and picked her up from her second job on Saturday night...I felt terrible. Anyway, that's what is really worrying me right now--not school work or classes (which I'm pretty sure I can handle).

One semester left, I'm not concerned about the next four months...just what comes after...

Before the movie starts...

This is a short little "public service announcement" that was shown before the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie (it was the best/funniest part of the whole film). Anyway, it says everything I always want to say...I think it should be shown before EVERY movie (people are so rude these days). Enjoy:

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Kook-y Videos

"She Moves in Her Own Way"

"Ooh La!"

Inside In/Inside Out

Very rarely does Leah get excited about an album. Somehow, she got turned onto INSIDE IN/INSIDE OUT by British rockers The Kooks--and she fell in love. It's not hard to understand why, one listen is all it take to reel you in. The Kooks are bit like recent media darling James Blunt (well only a little bit, they're British and use acoustic guitars so it's easy I guess to draw comparisons, The Kooks are actually superior in my opinion).

Album opener "Seaside" is a quiet, sad little ditty...and it sets you up for a shock when the second track "See the World" suddenly blasts forward. This is an "electric" album that has a distinctive acoustic feel.

The band has a very unusual songwriting style, it goes a little something like this: opening chords, first verse, 180 degree change in the chorus, (repeat). Pretty soon listeners begin to detect the pattern. My first experience with these songs went something like this: "Alright, this song is a bit slow...maybe a bit boring...oh shit, that's an awesome hook they have in the is a great song."

They're actually all really great songs, and most of them feature this intricate, maze-like structure. All you have to do to like a Kooks song is basically wait about 45 seconds for the chorus to start, then all the pieces fall into place, and you love it. Currently the single the band is pushing is "Naive," but frankly any of these songs could work as possible radio friendly songs. My personal favorites have the most unusual names: "Eddie's Gun," "Jackie Big Tits," and the brilliantly addictive "Ooh La" (which features the lyrical hook "ooh La!").

The songs are dark, but not really downers (the love songs tend to lean more toward "come back to me" rather than "she loves you and you know that can't be bad"). Hell, they have a song titled "You Don't Love Me," but it's never a 'make-you-want-to-jump-off-a-bridge' type record. Speaking of The Beatles, they're a ghost that haunts all British rock bands--The Kooks are no exception. Listen to the jangly guitars on "Ooh La!" or the shaking tambourines on pretty much the whole album...yep, that's REVOLVER-era Beatles. "She Moves in Her Own Way" almost has a soft-reggae feel to it (and it has a perfect chorus).

Even the album's weakest track, "Matchbox" is good, with it's fast paced guitar noodling (thought without a really glaringly memorable hook it stands out like a sore thumb on this record). No, the biggest problem I have with INSIDE IN/INSIDE OUT is it's length. Fifteen tracks...with a running time of 44 minutes? Over half the tracks clock in at less than three minutes. This minor defect aside (it's always good leaving 'em wanting more) this is the best record I've heard all year. The Kooks are a great new band, and I suspect they are a fantastic live act (after all, the entire record is pretty much guitar, bass, drums...nothing fancy (other than feedback)). I can't wait for the next record.

Jason gives INSIDE IN/INSIDE OUT an A++

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Move-In Video Part 1

Interview #1

Well I had my "big" interview at Borders today...ugh...

I really hate interviews. For one thing, I don't feel that the questions are fair. I also think the questions are stupid.

"How do you take constructive criticism?" Is okay, but as a follow up, "What if the criticism directed your way was totally wrong?" (I guess she meant, what if I knew whoever talking to me was waaay wrong in their criticism). How the hell do you respond to that (and land the job?). All the questions were pretty bogus...

"What was the biggest accomplishment you've ever made...while in a group." Uh...what groups? I said some bullshit, oh and I mentioned that my team was 1989 T-Ball Champions! (That's right Leah, I went there). So basically, I did a pretty shitty job trying to get a job. My first interview was good...but I can only sustain so much bullshit/fake-ness for so long. What's worse is my second interview was more important, and that lady was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY FAKE. Oh man...she was so fake that I had trouble telling how things were going.

Plus the job itself sounds pretty bad. Basically, I'm going to be a cashier. Six hour shifts 6:00pm to midnight (which is late, but still possible for me to do). Anyway, I really hope that I get another bite--soon.

Hail to the KING!

Today is anniversary of the passing of Elvis Aaron Presley. You know who he was, I know who he was--he's been dead since 1977 and yet his legend lives on. I wish I was back in Kansas City, a radio station me and my dad like to listen to have an annual Elvis parade on this day. If you're in town you owe it to yourself to head down to Barney Allis Plaza (that's downtown, right next to my old Command and Control center)and check it out.

I went to the King's house once, a few years back. It knocked my socks off. THE MAN HAD 3 TV's all on one wall (this was back when there was only 3 stations, thus allowing the King to watch everything on TV at once). The sheer amount of excess...the the dude is buried in his backyard (which is both cool and weird).

Anyway, I know that we're all busy people--but today take some time to stop and think about the king.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Who Knew ________ Could be such a headache?

Insert: Kitchen Table into the blank.

We needed a kitchen table/chairs set. Simple, right? I could write a forty-two page essay of the hell we had to go through to get our kitchen table. I'm going to be honest with you--I'm too lazy to write it all out...and it would probably only interest a small portion of you. Needless to say, we had a hell of a time getting a stupid kitchen table.

There a really nice one at World Market (but it was WAAAAY too pricey). So we ended up at K-mart (yes, apparently they still exist). Let me just say that the old adage of: "you get what you pay for" is true. We spent $130 and let me tell you...the set is worth every PENNY of that. Leah spent a frustrating hour/two hours putting it all together...or I should say...most of it together (by the way, I let her do it because between the two of us, she is the "handy" on. She has a tool box and everything! While she was assembling it...I was cooking dinner. Talka about a role reversal). It came with a table and four chairs, but only three chairs could be assembled. Why? Because two really big chunks of wood just kinda fell out of the last chair. The table is really sturdy/good. Two of the chairs are trustworthy (the other...not so much). Leah has already cannibalized the unused fourth chair parts for several non-furniture related projects.

Sure, we could have returned the damn thing...that might seem like an option...but you weren't there for the horrors involved in getting this damn thing (i.e. returning it wasn't really an option). Anyway, our place is so small we really don't have the room for all these extra chairs anyway (plus we have two wood chairs in the study that could be used for dinning purposes).

I'm finding that the most basic things are often the most complicated:

The Job Hunt

Well yesterday it began: the job hunt. I hate having to look for work, I feel like a beggar. Always have, always will. Back in the old days, if you went into a place you could ask: "Are you guys hiring?" And they would respond with either a "Yes" or a "No." Today, because of stupid lawyers (or whatever) they give you this line: "We're always accepting applications."

Uh...okay, but that's not what I asked. So, I usually fill out an application and it's always a BIG fat waste of time. Today I'm going to Barnes and Noble, and I just know that this is what is going to happen.

I applied at three places yesterday (one was Borders and Best Buy...two place I always apply at every time I need a job--neither has ever given me a job). I also applied to one of the arenas out here (which would be cool). Today I went on my University's website and found a semi-promising job lead (I emailed my resume, which is actually pretty good looking, if I may say so myself).

I also have this number I have no faith in, but am so curious that I have to call it. About a month ago this guy called my parents house and left me a message offering a job in St. Louis! I called the guy back and it sounds really suspicious (like, how did he get my number? A third party (I think UMSL) sold it to him). The only other job offer I got unsolicited via the phone was from the fucking Army (and I think we all know how desperate they are/how crappy that job is). So clearly this isn't a job I would want...but I am intrigued. So I'll bite.

Basically I'm only slightly optimistic...I'll keep you all posted.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


For her birthday, I bought my "little" (23 year old) sister Mark Ronson's debut CD VERSION. Who the hell is Mark Ronson? Ronson is a famous British DJ (the sort that spin records...not the kind that are on the radio) who has been working as a producer for a while now. You'd think that Ronson's first "solo record" would have the guy stepping out of the shadows and into the limelight...but instead nearly all the songs feature huge/mega-famous artists. It was for this reason that I picked it up for my sis.

Here's a breakdown of who is on this record: Lily Allen, Daniel Merriweather, Kasabian, Robbie Williams, Amy Winehouse, Tigger, Santo Gold, Kenna, The Daptone Horns, Paul Smith (of Maximo Park), and Phantom Planet. The album consists of these artists (along with Ronson's "flair" which I'll get to in a moment) performing covers. Basically, VERSION is a glorified covers album...with a twist. Rather than have this great collection of current pop stars cover older or classic songs, Ronson instead opted for a different approach--newer songs by newer bands.

Lily Allen covers up-and-comers The Kaiser Chiefs on "Oh My God!" Rapper (now dead) ODB and Tiggers cover (*gasp*) Brittany Spears's "Toxic." Phantom Planet tackles Radiohead's classic "Just." All of this is crazy, and all of it works. Any album that can get me to like a Brittany Spears song is truly amazing. The reason a song like “Toxic” works so well on this album is all due to Ronson—let me explain his part in all of this madness. When I put this CD into my car’s player, I was expecting a re-mix album. You know—lame ‘club’ re-workings (too much bass, less vocals, the song’s hook repeated 500 times in a row). VERSION is not, let me stress…NOT A RE-MIX ALBUM. Ronson took these classic songs and infused jazz (along with a little world beat) into them.

Prime example: “Just.” Ronson deletes all the ‘alternative rock’ vibe and replaces it with shiny big band brass. Think Gorillaz meets MOULIN ROUGE (if you haven’t seen this movie go check it out, it’s great…they re-work a bunch of classic rock songs). Fans of Amy Winehouse’s “everything-old-is-new-again” sound will appreciate VERSION. That said, it is a bit more urban/hip-hop than BACK IN BLACK (come on, ODB is on it…it has to be more street). Ronson has three instrumental tracks that are only credited to him, and they’re really good (nice bouncy jazz).

VERSION is great, but I wonder how popular it’ll be. My sister told me she “hated it” and “had to turn it off.” She’s a notorious hater of covers, so an entire album of covers probably rubbed her the wrong way. And frankly, if you like the original Ms. Spears version of “Toxic” you’ll probably hate this album. But, if you like your pop music to be a little strange (really strange) and/or you enjoy modern jazz…you’ll probably enjoy the strange ride.

Jason gives VERSION a “B+”

The 300,000 Club

The new My Chemical Romance song pack is great!

"This is How I Disappear"
"Famous Last Words"

They're all really super-hard, but "Famous Last Words" is by far the easiest (I could only get 3-Stars the first time I played the other two). Because "Famous Last Words" is both long and full of double notes...I was finally able to crack the 300,000 score mark.

'Tis a very schweet thing...

New DLC for GH2

I wonder why the downloadable content never caught on for Guitar Hero II? Hmm...let's see, maybe because it:

1. Costs too much



If you're a putz, you check Microsoft's official XBOX website to see when new downloads are available. They must never update that thing, because on IGN today I saw that there is a brand spankin' new My Chemical Romance song pack up on XBOX Live. So I checked the official page--nothing up about this. So I got off my duff and fired up the XBOX 360. Yep, there it was.

Oh and one other thing...

There was also another song pack (Song Pack #4) that I didn't even know existed!!! long has that been up Microsoft!? And they wonder why no one was downloading this stuff. I mean sure, I know that SOME people just have their 360's always online...but I don't. I didn't go buy the $40 wi-fi set up. I still use the cable--so it's a bit of a deal to get my system online.

Anyway, I downloaded Song Pack #4 and played the songs (it's great!):

"I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones
"Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple
"You Got Another Thing Coming" by Judas Priest

Can't wait for the My Chemical Romance pack to download...

Not bad for a first run through (the score is rubbish, but I got 5 stars!). I hadn't played for a few weeks too!

Monday, August 13, 2007

10-28-07' Scottrade Center

Holy shit it's happening...

Ghost in Apartment C?

Okay, one last "apartment" post for today (give me a break...I've been away). I was responding to Terri's comment on an earlier post, when I noticed these weird lights on one of the pics I posted earlier.

What are these lights? Random light/camera snafus...or something evil/sinister? Is our place haunted? Bum-bum...baaaaa!!!

*lighting/thunder crash*

Click on the picture below--and YOU be the judge:

Moving Day/Moving In

Ugh. We picked the hottest weekend this year to move into our new apartment. We got in around 9:00 at night. Which meant I was unpacking my car in the dark. The total dark. I'm not sure if it's because no one has been living in our building for a while or what...but the place inside and out was pitch black dark. The nearest street light was too far to give me any help. After about an hour I got it all inside. We were both so tired.

Then we noticed how hot it was. Like really, really hot. Our A/C unit has not been doing it's job these past three (very hot) days. The coolest we've been able to get it (up till today) has been 81 degrees. Today we got it down to 76 (felt like Decemeber compared to 81). We're currently waiting for the repair guy to show up and fix it...and our garbage disposal.

Yes, I cooked dinner tonight. It was the first time me (or Leah) had cooked in the new place. I made my oven roasted potatos and chicken Parisian (Leah had never had it before). It turned out good...but the oven and range made the place VERY hot. I'm not going to sugar coat this...I was basically naked. In fact, for the past 3 day's I've been living much like Tom Hanks in CAST AWAY. Very much either naked or loin cloth (boxers). Now it's true, I like the new found freedom...but mostly it's been because of the heat.

We have no cable, and when we decided not to get cable a few months seemed like a good idea. But now, now that I'm living cable-less...well, it blows. I just now (literally) found an wall outlet that doesn't seem to be working (meaning my laptop is about to run out of juice). So I guess that's it for now...

Yes, I'm Alive

Well I'm writing this from me and Leah's new apartment. It's been a hell of three days for me...let me tell you. I went and finished up my work for Uni-Guard SUCKurity. I laid low and watched DVD's on my laptop. Saturday morning I changed into some swim trunks (Hawaiian print, natch) and went up to the office. I deposited my uniforms and left downtown KC for the last time. All the holes in my body the ones I was born with (no extra ones).

I went home and slept till about 3:00pm then we (my family and I) went out for pizza at Minsky's. After that me and Leah packed up my cars with everything I own and headed for St. Louis. We got in around 9:00pm. It sucked moving everything upstairs, but thankfully Leah's Dad had some of his employees move all the furniture last week. So that was good. We've just been unpacking, and unpacking, and unpacking. I wanted to get it all done Sunday (boy was that crazy). I estimate that by next weekend we should be all moved in.

The phone people just left, so now I have Internet (thank God, because we have no TV the rabbit ears only pick up like 3 channels). We're all doing really well. I should have some pictures of the move/our new place up later tonight.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Bang! Bang! or "Is My Life Worth $173?"

What a night. I have three nights (and one day shift) left and then I’m done. That’s all I have left. You’d think I could just have a nice, easy last few days. Think again. I got to work on time, relieved the evening shift guard—the night began like any other. I made my first preliminary round of the property, everything was fine. I went up to my corner office and set up my laptop. I watched BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (a great cheesy B-movie from the ‘80s staring Kurt Russell). Once that was over I went out again and made a round. Then I got back to my office and started LORD OF WAR (a Nicholas Cage flick about a gun-runner). I’d never seen it before, but I like Cage…and the price was right ($6.99). Anyway, about ½ way through the movie—art imitated life. I stopped the movie and went to do a round. I was leaving one of my office buildings when two cars barreled down the street that runs between two of the buildings I guard. Before I knew what was happening a guy (I’m assuming it was a guy) in the first car unloaded about three rounds from 9mm handgun (I know it was a 9mm because I found the spent shells). Someone in the second car squeezed off two rounds…then they were both gone.

And just like that, my quiet night was over. I don’t think they saw me (thank God), but it didn’t matter. I was about twenty feet away from these assholes…and that was far too close. I radioed my boss and he came out. We collected shell casings and I wrote a one page “this-is-what-happened” type report. Like the other shooting I was involved in, the police were not notified—there is no point. I didn’t get the plate numbers, I have only a sketchy idea of what the cars looked like, I have no description of the shooters, etc.

This is the second shooting in as many days in my area. The other was near by at another post that's about a street over on Southwest Boulevard (where I used to work three years and a lifetime ago). We think there is some sort of turf war going on in our neighborhood. Now I have to decide—do I stay or do I go? I have three overnight shifts down here…I did the math, if I work those three shifts and my day overtime shift I’ll make $173. Is that enough to risk getting shot? My boss could see the wheels turning in my head; he was all but begging me to stay. “Don’t call off; come in for the rest of the week…I’ll go real easy on you…”

I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I want to keep my word. I said I was going to work until the 10th of the month. If I quit now, I’m basically not keeping my word. I also need the money. On the other hand…I like living. And I may not have much of a life, but it sure as hell worth more than $173. I feel really bad for whoever takes my shift over. I haven’t really had too many problems down here this summer. Sure, there was gunfire on the Fourth of July…but that was the “friendlier”/Argentinean kind. Ten-fifty an hour isn’t enough for me to put my life on the line. Not by a long shot.

Am I a coward? Am I just looking for an excuse to quit this fucking job?

Monday, August 06, 2007


I find this really very interesting...bored, trolling around the Internet I happened upon the Wiki site for the 1981 John Carpenter film ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. If you haven't seen it--you're lame (just kidding, go rent's great). Anyway, I was reading about how much trouble Carpenter had getting the movie made. One such problem was, how do you create a ruined version of N.Y.C. for less than $7 Million dollars?

Easy: go around the country and look for "the worst city in America." And where did they find a city so run-down and crappy that it could double for New York (N.Y. as a giant crumbling prison)? Why St. Louis, of course! I guess they filmed most of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK in St. Louis and East St. Louis. They convinced the city to kill the power in a few blocks every night...and bam! Instant urban decay.

Nice. Can't wait to call the place home (for good).

On the R'N'R Geek Show (again)

Hey...just wanted to let you guys know that I was on the Rock and Roll Geek Show podcast again this week. The show was posted yesterday.

Anyone interested in listening to that can do so in a few different ways:

1. Go to iTUNES search for "Rock and Roll Geek show." It'll be under podcasts, you can either subscribe to the show (which I recommend, it's great) or you can just download the one show (which is the latest one, show number 254).
Or for you Luddites out there (for whom iTUNES is a mystery)

2. Go to and near the top of the page is the show notes for the show. Look for the green/orange speaker/play button. You can stream the entire episode from his website OR you can download the file directly from him.

The Limemonkey appears about 50 minutes into the show. And since I'm secure in my sexuality, I have no problem saying: I love Michael Butler.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Nothing to talk about

This is one of those posts all about how there is nothing to write/talk about. I'm taking my camera to work tomorrow (a different post, West Rover) because I want to get some shots overlooking the West Bottoms area. I have a million things I should be doing, but I don't feel like doing any of it. Packing, changing my address, calling my insurance company, etc.

Blah, blah, blah...

I've pretty much stopped being a guard. I take my laptop to work and hole up in this abandoned office...watching DVD's. I usually get through about 2 movies a shift (I mean, I do get up and make a few token rounds). Last night I watched my sister's copy of 300. It was better than I remember it being. Tonight I'm kicking it old school with a Eddie Murphy Double Feature: 48 HOURS and ANOTHER 48 HOURS. Buddy-cop movies from the '80s rule.

Oh, congrats to Leah--who took the GRE today. Apparently she did really well. Yay Leah!

Nearing the END!!!

Well summer sure has gone by in a flash. It seems like only yesterday I was packing up my dorm I'm packing up my old room in my parents basement. I didn't really make a big deal about it, but on Monday me and Leah signed the lease on our apartment. We're both really excited (though truth be told, I dread the move). Not sure how the three of us will get along out there, but we're going to give it the old "college try."

My marathon of work ends a week from today. I've worked my ass of (literally) all summer. All told, I probably took about 8 days off all summer. I have two more double (16 hour) shifts to work...I think I'm doing a paltry 65 hours next week. I wish I had my last "weekend" off but I'm working one of my nights off (so all I get is Sunday off before the move).

We have a little house guest here at the Limemonkey Ranch...I'm watching Rusty for the next 2 weeks. What will Leah do without him for so long? I don't know (she sure is crazy about that dog). He was a good boy on the ride out to KC (though I did have to vacuum my car when I got home (despite the bed sheet)). I wish I was home more to spend time with him, but luckily my family loves him. I guess the other night my baby sister was taking a bath--and Rusty jumped into the tub with her!!! He sure is a funny dog.

Anyway, it's nearly the end of the summer (can you believe that?). Despite all the hard work, I've actually had a pretty okay time. Weird huh?