Telemarketers: My New Plan of Action

One of my (many) tasks at work is to answer the phones. Would you believe a pallet company gets a lot of calls?

A lot of calls.

Some are related to what we do, but there is a percentage (I'd say 15-20%) that are from various telemarketers. The kind I hate the most are from the machines. You pick-up and get a recording hocking insurance or Cable/Dish services. All you have to do is "Press 1 to speak with an operator."

Usually I just hang up, but not anymore. They wasted my time, so now I'm wasting theirs. Here is what I am now doing.

I find out what they are selling and pick something else--something not related to what they're trying to get me to buy. Then I "Press 1" and wait. When the call center takes my call, I ask for the "head of the household." Then I ask the guy trying to sell me cheap health insurance if he'd like Dish Network.

I just did this about 10 minutes ago, and it was hilarious. I acted oblivious when he said, "Sir, this is a call center" (because they act oblivious to me when they're trying to sell me siding for my house...even when I tell them that the number they've dialed is a business and I don't own a home). I told him all about the 349 channels of HD-programming he could have. I told him he could try the service out for a month, and then decide if he wanted to keep it. Eventually he hung up on me.

But I wasted that bastards time.

To quote Carlin: "These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools."