How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

With the recent nuke test in North Korea my generation has gotten a small taste of the Cold War. We're learning that it was a whole different ballgame than faceless, nameless, hidden terrorist-enemy we have been facing. Country vs. Country, Nuclear power vs. Nuclear power is a whole extra level of horror. Imagine a conflict that could actually end all life on Earth. Can you? Though the current crisis with North Korea pales in comparison to the "good old days" of say the Cuban Missle Crisis...it's shaken a lot of people up. The idea of a madman holding his finger over "the button" terrifies us all. Stanley Kubrick's film "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" (that's the full title, henceforth to be refered by me as "Dr. Strangelove"), takes this idea and runs with it. I saw this film for the first time last night at a midnight showing and it blew me away (pun intended).

Kubrick's biting satire points out that it's not just people like Kim Jong-Il who we need to worry about...it's pretty much anyone and everyone. Human beings simply shouldn't have this horrible destructive power. This is because, as I've always reasons: if we build these things...someday they are going to be used. It's that simple. You don't build a tool and then not use it. Humans are rash, foolish, greedy, self-centered creatures...not the best stewards for something like nuclear weapons.

Basically, one crazy/demented General (Jack D. Ripper) pushes the button so to speak and orders a strike on the Soviets. He tells the bombers to use "Plan R" which presumes that Washington has been destroyed...giving Ripper authority to order a retaliatory strike. These bombers have no idea that there has been no attack...with little hesitation, they proceed into Soviet airspace. On the ground, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers in one of three brillantly played roles) who is General Rippers righthand man begins to suspect that the Generals orders aren't a "loyalty test" or some other kind of training exercise and freaks out. Ripper has impounded all the radios on the base, so no one can know that there has been no attack. According to "Plan R" no one is allowed in or out of the base. Anyone trying to enter is shot. Poor Mandrake tries desperatley to get Ripper to tell him the three letter code to end the attacks...but Ripper blows his own brains out. In one of the movies funniest scenes, Mandrake cracks the code and must find away to call the President. He finds a pay phone, but doesn't have correct change...the White House won't take his collect call...risking life and limb (and as one soldier points out the wrath of the Coca Cola Company) Mandrake gets enough change to make his call.

The day is saved....all the planes are called off--except one whose radio is damaged. The President learns that the Russians have a "doomsday machine" that will blow up the world if Russia is attacked. In a final act of desperation, crazy ex-Nazi scientist Dr. Strangeglove proposes that 100,000 people hide down in a mineshaft and reclaim the Earth after the 100 years of nuclear winter. In the end, the bombs are dropped and the world ends. We don't find out if the good doctors plan works (or if there was even enough time to implement it). All we see is bomb after bomb (real nukes footage by the way) exploding. And why? For what reason? Like everything man does, the reason is rooted in sex and the sexual. General Ripper blames Commie floridation of the water supply for his own lagging labido. Phalic symbols are seen over and over again. Cigars, guns, bullets, missles, B52's...all the worst things man has made--all resembling/augmenting/acessorizing his penis. Just like George Carlin and his "bigger dick" theory.


"Dr. Stangelove" serves as yet another reminder that man is his own worst enemy. Stumbling out of the theatre at 2AM, I couldn't help but wonder if the genie will ever be put back in the bottle. Can human beings escape the seemingly enevitable fate of nuclear holocaust? The pessimist in me says "hell no" but movies like "Dr. Strangelove" make me wonder. If people like Kubrick can help us forsee this calamity can't we avoid it?