$365 Million Reasons

So the Powerball is up to a record $365 Million dollars, I'm going to play but I hope I don't win. I'm not just saying that, either. I really mean it. Why do I play? Because it's fun, sitting around with my friends...we talk about what we'd do if we won. My girlfriend made a list/chart of who'd get what and why last semester. It's a fun mental exercise. But do I really want $365 million dollars? Hell no. I'd quit school for one thing. I'd move into a house (probably in somewhere between where I am now and my parents home). I'd become a real ass (as opposed the fake one I am now). Basically, I'd buy a bunch of stuff I don't need...and become all Howard Hughes. Grow my hair and nails out, avoid the world. I know I'd stop writing. I'd ultimately regret quitting school (though one could argue that all the travel I'd do would be a better education). I'd worry about nasty, greedy people who'd want to kidnap my loved ones (or me) for money. Beggars and relatives come from the woodwork.

What about Charity? I have a coat I really hate. This girl bought it for me, it's totally not my style. Big, bulky, puffy, dark green like a hunting lodge. In short, this coat is about as far from me as Mars (or Jupiter). I can't wear it, but I don't know what to do with it. I've had some good hearted folks suggest that I give it away to a charity. The only problem is, this coat is too nice for GoodWill. No, I'm not being a snob. It's just that it's a really nice brand, and I know that if I give it to a charity it'll get yanked by someone, someone who searches the rough for diamonds. So, I keep this nasty coat under my bed. If I won the lotto my money would just sit under my bed, gathering a film of dust (doing no one any good).

Then you hear all these cases of "lucky" people, who win big and their life goes to shit. Drug problems, divorce, violence, death. These are the ghosts that stalk and haunt vast sums of money. So, even though I play, I really don't want to win...not deep down. Maybe a couple thousand, but not millions. Millions and billions would change my life too much, and I wouldn't like that.