"Got no friends, cos they all read the papers..."

Ah, Alice Cooper.

Today was a very "No More Mr. Nice Guy" kind of day. Just 24 hours after making peace with my situation on the school paper...I get the latest issue...and boy was I fucked over. I guess as a nice little "fuck you" to me, the photo editor took some pictures and wrote a story.

See, I've had my panties in a wad because I steped on some toes and attempted to provide my own photos (seems the photo department never wants to cover my stories). So, I tried to email the photo editor (who by the way did get my request) via the paper's general email a request that a photographer be provided for my restaraunt review. I even gave him a specific time I was going to go eat at the place (so the photo guys could tag along in my car if we couldn't get a ride). Did I hear anything back? No. So I went, took some awful, crappy pictures and emailed them along with the review to my editor. All hell broke lose. The Photo editor was pissed, cos I was making him look bad and stepping into his territory...my editor was mad that I had to deal with these issues period. Apparently the correct way to make a photo request is to go to the office and fill out a bunch of paper work. See, though, no one does this cos they all hang out and together and it's all real casual for them...since they're all friends. (Ok so I'm pissed I wasn't invited to a staff party they had on the snow day last week, I admit it).

ANYWAY, I was like "sorry, I was never really given any training...most of my stories don't get photos...just trying to help the paper." Whatever, the photo editor was like "You fucked up, but you'll get your photo for the review."

Ok, so flash forward to today, I pick up the paper...no reivew...but lo and behold the photo editor went out and took pictures and wrote another review. I was pissed. What the %*()&*$???? So, I got pissed, sent him a sarcastic email, wrote my last reivew of a concert I attended Sunday night and quit the paper. Acutally I emailed my story (which was short and crappy) and said: Ps. I quit. Goodbye.

Now everyone is freaking out! My cell phone has been ringing off the hook. I've gotten like 6 emails. My dorm phone has rung like four times (it never rings). My girlfriend was ambushed by some people about it at the Student Center. I feel bad because both her and my parents really liked me being on the paper. But honestly, I didn't like it. I didn't like the process....I didn't like how I was basically used (last issue I wrote 1/2 the A&E Section). No one gave me the time of day, they all talked down to me...and then...I quit and they're all freaking out. I'm not sure why. My editor is practically begging me to call her and "talk about it." Her boss emailed me saying how much my editor appreciated my work (she didn't apprecitate it...my editor did...this is the kind of crap they do...no one can say a nice thing to me without it being forced or someone painful for them).

The paper isn't fun for me anymore, and they keep giving me work (that I gladly do) that never sees the light of day in the paper. I understand that not everything I write is good (actually I haven't written a single thing for the paper that has been up to my standards), and that not everything will fit in a small paper...but to give me a story assignment when a senior member of the staff has the same one (which will they run, I wonder?) pisses me off.

There' s a bunch of other stuff that led to me leaving, too...but it's a bit personal for this blog. I'm sure everyone is going to be pissed at me, but I don't care. I want to focus on my own writing now, because I don't write for me anymore. That's the kind of writing that will help me, in the end. I know that the way the paper is reflects the harsh realities of the "real world." And honestly, if I was going to be a journalist (if that's what I wanted) I'd stick it out. But frankly, the writing I'm doing is actually hurting my creativity. The paper forces me to be bland and boring. I will miss the free tickets, but the stuff I go to anymore is just the stuff no one else wants to go to.

In other news, I submitted a poem to the student literary Magazine (which I predict will not publish me) and tomorrow I'm submitting two short stories to a local Alumni Writing Club. One of my english teachers found me an essay contest for the liberal magazine "The Nation" that I'm going to do. I have a couple dozen more such opprotunities I'm going to work on instead of the paper. I'd like to try my hand at a novel again.

Today is Valentine's Day and I have to go be a boyfriend now...