Jason and Leah visit THE GRINDHOUSE

So today I got up at the ass crack of dawn and hurriedly showered, dressed, went over to Leah's house. I stopped and bought us breakfast, which we ate...then we hopped in the car and went to AMC and caught the second showing of GRINDHOUSE. We were the first people in the theatre (I like to get there early). Our show was mostly old people (like 55+, seriously not who I thought I'd be seeing this movie with). It was an early show, and it was an R-rated movie...so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

Anyway, from beginning to end GRINDHOUSE delivered. The fake trailers, period "Coming Attractions" screens, to the scratches and tears in the film. Perfect, fun, gruesome, exploitation. I read the Rolling Stone review and I have to agree, GRINDHOUSE is the bloodiest "Chick Flick" ever made. Both films in the double feature have female protagonists. Both are very much "you go girl!" kind of movies. This is especially true of Tarantino's DEATH PROOF (which features three girls turning the tables on a deranged lady-killer (the real kind)). So of course Leah and me ate this shit up. PLANET TERROR was pretty bad, but it was supposed to be bad.

I think there is some irony in the fact that both directors, having achieved mainstream success (and the budgets that come with it), have opted to make a crappy movie...on purpose. I know, I know...they're "paying homage" to what they grew up watching. Yeah, yeah...still...I bet this country is filled with film students who'd kill their entire families for a fraction of the budget GRINDHOUSE had (and not so they could make a "bad" movie on purpose).

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here--I guess it just seems weird that a "real" director would want to make a B-Movie. All the B-Movie directors out there (okay, most of them) want to move up into the big leagues and make better movies. Maybe not "mainstream" movies, but better ones.

I'm lost on a tangent. I'm really tired today...like I wrote earlier, I got up too damn early (and stayed up too late last night). Speaking of movies, I just saw CLERKS 2. Oh man, was it bad. L-A-M-E to the extreme. I like Kevin Smith too, Leah and I have been listening to his SModcast (his weekly podcast) and they've all been really funny. That's why we rented CLERKS 2 (I think). But oh boy was it bad. Bad acting, bad script, bad story idea, bad...bad, bad, bad. There are some movies that DON'T NEED A SEQUEL!!! Don't need another TITANTIC or CASABLANCA...that would make no fucking sense. Well, same deal with CLERKS. No reason to do another one. And while I'm on the subject, I'm sick of these OCEAN's movies. OCEAN's 11 was great, I loved it. Big cast, big fun, big heist...great. The second one was one of the worst film's I've ever seen (and nearly the second movie I've ever walked out on). OCEAN's 12 not only broke the "4th Wall" but it also (in my opinion) made fun of the audience (in not a nice way).

*Spoiler*









Juila Robert's character looks just like....JULIA ROBERTS! No way dipshits, that's because she is Julia Roberts...oh my Gawd that was stupid. I groaned and bellyached when that plot "twist" went down. If my sister hadn't been so stubborn, I'd have left. Anyway, after having George Clooney and Brad Pitt basically point and me and call me a "retard" I've sworn off the OCEAN's movies. OCEAN's 13? Hell no. Go ahead, fucking cast Pacino--I'm still not going to fall for it again. Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice SHAME ON ME!!




*End Spoilers*





Now, a movie I want to see is HOT FUZZ. The blokes who did SHAUN OF THE DEAD are doing a cop/action movie. They showed the trailer (among other things) before GRINDHOUSE, it looked fantastically funny.


And now, because I'm bored, Jason Presents a list of his ALL TIME WORST MOVIES:

1. COLD CREEK MANOR (this is the only movie I've ever walked out of...too predictable)

2. OCEAN'S 12

3. TOMB RAIDER 1&2

4. FAR FROM HEAVEN (me and Leah's first date)

5. X-3 (and depending on the day X-2)

6. THE MATRIX SEQUELS

7. ALL NON-PIXAR DISNEY MOVIES AFTER THE LION KING

8. BATMAN AND ROBIN

9. HAPPY FEET (just terrible)

10. ANY COMPUTER ANIMATED MOVIE FROM DREAMWORKS (other than SHREK)

11. STAR WARS: EPISODE I THE PHANTOM MENACE

12. ALL OTHER VIDEO GAME MOVIES

13. CONGO (great book=shit movie?)

14. PRETTY MUCH ANY "4" (OTHER THAN STAR WARS): ROCKY, SUPERMAN, STAR TREK.

15. LEGALLY BLOND 2-Leah's scary mom has a cameo...that's reason enough (so she says)