It's getting colder out there people, and yet I still find myself lounging around naked.
WTF? I hear you asking.
We're poor, so the past few summers I've been going "natural" around the house. I don't do it cos I'm a pervert (though I am a pervert), no--I do it to stay cool. And yet, as the leaves change and Old Man Winter moves back into the neighborhood, I find that I'm still not really wearing clothes. In fact, even though I'm a disgusting, fat, slob I wish I could go everywhere naked.
Being naked is freeing. Being naked is good because that's the way we were meant to be. If people were supposed to wear clothes, we'd come out wearing parkas when we're born. I think this country would be a better place if we were all nudists. Imagine the obesity statistics if everyone were naked! Have you ever tired to gorge yourself on pizza and McDonald's while being naked? It's pretty tough to wolf down garbage when you can see your nasty gut just hanging there, staring you in the face.
Crime would be limited to as well--where would criminals hide there guns if they were pant-less? Exactly, up their asses. Kinda hard to run up to someone and rob them at gunpoint with a .45 up your bum. See what I'm saying? I'm saying I'm crazy and I'm naked.
Just do me a favor, before you judge me--give it a try. Go one day mostly naked (I know you can't be naked all day, unless you're a shut-in like me--ya gotta go out sometime right?). But be careful, once you go nude you're no longer a prude!