Thursday, August 28, 2008
More Gear Grinding...NUTS!!!
Time for some more "Gear Grinding."
I asked Leah to pick me up a snack at the store yesterday, and she bought us some mixed nuts. Actually, she bought us a giant tub of "mixed nuts," from Wal-Mart. Now, I know she was trying to do me a favor, but I would have never bought this stuff.
Why? I hear you asking. Do I have something against mixed nuts? No. I love cashews, pecans, almonds, etc. I even don't mind peanuts. But I do hate being swindled.
Thus begins the grinding of my gears.
Okay, so she bought this stuff yesterday, and we've consumed about 1/3 of the can. I know, we're pigs. We should slow down, because our bodies really don't need all that sodium. Whatever. Anyway, 1/3 of this can is gone. And yet despite assurances from the label ("Less than 50% Peanuts" my ass) all we have left is peanuts.
Oh sure, if you dig deep enough you'll find a stray cashew-half. And of course, there are a dozen or so giant Brazilian nuts. Who wakes up wanting to eat Brazil nuts? These things are like overweight peanuts. They're a bit crunchier, I guess...but for the most part it's just a swollen peanut--so they really don't count.
The bottom line is: I bought "mixed nuts" not "Some other, better nuts plus a shit-load of peanuts." And yet, no matter what the label says, that's always what I get. The mixed-nut industry is a sham. There is no such thing. It's just some a-hole unloading all his nasty peanuts.
Things that piss me off (in order):
2. The KKK
3. Mixed nuts
4. Flat tires
5. Emo Rock
6. Kidney stones
Good God, I hate mixed nuts more than kidney stones! I've had a kidney stone...it sucked. I peed blood. I'd rather pee blood than be ripped off by mixed nuts! It's a scam, don't fall for "mixed nuts." Don't you see!!!??? They're just selling you peanuts!!!!!!