Two Red Folders

I have two folders. One is what I've been taking to work, with pieces of my novel (and my letter writing material). The other is one I started using today--it's filled with resumes.

Yesterday, at work I got a call about a job I applied for last week. It kinda hit my by surprise. I ended up talking to an HR woman for a really long time. She told me that she liked what she heard, and that I was going to be sent along in the process. She said that if the hiring manager liked what he saw, I'd get an interview. Ten minutes later she called me back and said that if I wanted one, I could interview this morning at 10:00AM. I jumped on the opportunity.

So I went this morning, in my green shirt and black tie (God I hate that tie) and had my interview. The job is a good one. The job will pay me double what I make now, and if I'm able to learn to sell--I could expect to make truck-loads of money. One of the phrases they threw around (a lot) was "100K."

Now, I don't know about you...but that's pretty much beyond anything I ever hoped/expected to make. Fundamentally, it sounds like a very stressful/shitty job. It's cold calling. I would be an I.T. headhunter. This is a good company (been around since 1976). I would get health care. I would be able to work at home--I would HAVE to work at home (50 hours a week min. but I get paid for overtime, I also would get commissions--but I would also have a base salary).

This is a great opportunity, and yet I don't want to take it deep down. Why? Because I know it would be the final death blow to my writing. I know that if I'm working 50+ hours a week (making "a 100 calls a day" (cold calls)) that I would NOT want to do anything no the weekends. I'm not 100% sure I could do this job, but I could probably get by. Problem is--I can tell that I would have no passion for it.

So I have these two red folders. Neither are very easy or safe/secure options for me. One is an extreme long-shot...the other is still a long-shot. Even though I think it's probably not the smartest choice, I'm not ready to give up on my dreams. I'm not ready to admit defeat on what is more than likely something that will only ever make me feel good (as opposed to something that will make me money). My current job is improving slightly. My boss returned to work yesterday, and things are finally starting to be organized once more.

If this job was even remotely along my interests, I would have no qualms about taking it (were it to be actually offered to me). But it's not. Not really. This, dear children, is why the Limemonkey is in reality a very stupid man. This is also why you will never think of the Limemonkey as a "rich" man. I'd like to think that turning down the possibility of great sums of money, in the name of my passions, said something about me as a man (other than what a fool I am)...but I'm afraid it doesn't say very much.

If you are a mother--thank God I'm not marrying your daughter. If you are a woman--thank God you're not going to be my wife. I foresee much poverty...