Usually, I don't censor myself--but for some reason after I posted this last night...I took it down. But I thought about it, and what the hell:
I am in a rut.
For about month now, my days have all been the same. I get up in the afternoon, bicker a little with Leah and have lunch. I take a shower, then go to work. Work. I come home, we watch a DVD or something...she goes to bed, I stay up till 4:00AM (reading in the bathtub, mindlessly checking the same three or four websites, etc.).
Everyday for my dinner, I eat two apples and a turkey and cheese sandwich. Now, this has changed recently, because we got Dijon mustard as well as the hot sauce that I like. It's not an either/or proposition...I now simply use both. Most Saturday nights, I come home and eat beans and rice (this weekend, however, was different because I became determined not to do what I'd done for the past few weeks).
Friday I wake up late, me and Leah fight/bicker/whatever. Then we go out and buy something (we don't need), usually no more than $50. I usually go to bed earlier than usual (2:00AM) because I have work early on Saturday morning. My Sundays are equally planned out: movies with Leah and her Dad (this weekend it was 10,000 BC (dreadful)). Most of the time we go out to eat. This weekend was different, her mom came along too.
On my day's off, I wish I was at work...when I have to work during the week--I wish it was my day off. See a pattern? I do. I'm fucking Bill Murray in that movie GROUNDHOG DAY. Except I'm not trying to electrocute myself (yet). I'm in a rut.
Next weekend is going to be different. Leah's going to be out of town in Chicago...and I'm going to be having a party after work on Saturday night. That's good. That's a start, but I don't think I can wait that long for the "different" to come. I need help getting out of this rut. Advice???