Got my second rejection (in my "writing career") today. It was from an e-zine, the editor was really nice. Not only did I get the standard "Sorry, your piece wasn't for us," I got a nice paragraph about why my story "Death for Breakfast" isn't quite right.
Here is what he had to say:
Overall thoughts:
I found this piece a bit of a surprise, which isn't necessarily good.
You spend a bit of time working through the process of
getting the waffle iron and then working us into the mysterious future
telling waffle iron. I think though, once the waffle
iron starts doing its thing it's more funny than anything else. My
suggestion is to choose a genre here and cut out the fat
(especially the beginning) I thought this could be a HILARIOUS comedy
piece if you want to play with it, go into paranoia,
middle-age, horror, etc.. or you can try to actually spin it into a
mystery but you may have to amp up the mystery of the
thing. Work at it.
Right now we've decided that the piece isn't right for us.
I have to agree, the thing is very bi-poplar. I started writing "Death for Breakfast" in my school's cafeteria after eating some waffles. Leah was off doing something, and I thought it would be funny to see if I could write a story about killer waffles. Somehow, the joke got out of hand, and the damn thing got too serious. I really think this guy is right, I need to do a rewrite and return it to the realm of humor. Anyone want give me some suggestions on this topic, feel free to do so on my other blog (where the story is posted): http://writingsofalimemonkey.blogspot.com/search/label/%22Death%20for%20Breakfast%22
My writing bud Murph recently posted on his blog about the pitfalls of publishing your writing online...one of which is that people see what you post and judge you by it. Please don't, remember that my best stuff (I think) is un-posted. And that what's up is pretty old (i.e. bad). I'm not sure about the legal stuff Murph raised, so I'm probably going to play it safe and only post excerpts from now on. I'm going to try to get a portion of "Sea Change" up sometime this week. Stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Having just read DfB, the copy you gave Jimu, I can see where he's coming from. I mean, the waffle iron was creepy, but it wasn't creepy enough. There was some mystery, but again, not enough. There just wasn't any suspense to it. And that's fine for a Simpsons Halloween special, but I think it'll need some work, and possibly some extra length to be awesome.
Namechecking "The Yellow Wallpaper" was pretty nifty, tho. I did like that.
Oh, and you know what I would suggest as the excerpt from Sea Change.
Yes! That's it!!! Treehouse of Terror 30 (or whatever number they're on) will be where I try and shop this next!!!
See, that's why I let you read my stuff David. NO ONE got my "Yellow Wallpaper" reference. Are you sure you don't want to go to college?
Yep, I know the part you're talking about...and I should get it up sometime today.
BTW I'm seriously considering re-working "Sea Change" into a novel this summer.
Well, keep at it man. That is a better second rejection than I got.
You're on your way. You've moved from wannabe to aspiring. Soon you be a bona fide writer (give or take five years). :)
Respects,
Murph
Northtown, Missouri
Thanks Murph, I know I'm still in the early stages (after all, I'm still HAPPY to be getting even a rejection).
A problem I have is that I have lots of stuff...but only a few things that I'm proud of. Only problem is--they're too long to be a "short story" and too short to be a novel. I just write, I don't think about what I'm going to do with it. When you sit down and write, do you think "okay this is a magazine story"? Also, what is the status of your novel writing? Have you ever tired it? Do you have any expericance/desire with that aspect?
I stumbled on a weird website tonite. Check out lulu.com
Terri, what you found isn't just weird...it's blowing my mind. I'm really tired, but when I get some sleep (and survive moving back home) I'm going to check into this place.
They say "if it's too good to be true, it is"
Post a Comment