Things Change (And Yet I Feel the Same)

I'm sitting here in my dorm, about to leave for the break. Justin my RA and Sam were pretty much the only people here...so we talked. Bellerive Hall is going to be converted into a conference center next year, so all these kids are going to be moved to another dorm. Most of them though, are going elsewhere (myself included). I've had a two year run here in the dorms. I'm ready to leave, there is no question about that...but it's still sorta sad. Like Westside (my old post in KC) I'm glad all my roommates won't be here after I'm gone, it makes it easier to leave. If I knew that all this was still going to be here, I'd be a lot harder to say goodbye to it. And though it's sad to think that I'm the last UMSL student to have this room...it's also kinda cool.

I feel just like I did when I was six (ask my Mom or Leah...I still feel like a six year old...ha-ha!). I keep expecting to wake up one day and be an adult. To wake up and feel...different. But I don't. The years are rolling by and I'm still the same old Jason that I've always been. Okay, I know that's not true--I am changing, but you what I mean. Chapters have to end so an new one can begin, I know that better than anyone. But it still feels strange to think about next year, and all that will be different. When I was a kid, things stayed the same longer. The older I get, the shorter the respites from change are. Next year I'll be a college graduate. The year after that, I'll be married--and who knows where I'll be living (Leah's Grad school plans include St. Louis...and Seattle). Anyway, I'm a sentimental fool, I guess you could say. I think too much about things, and think about what has been more than I should. Once upon a time, this school and this dorm was part of the scary "unknown" future and that turned out alright. So I shan't worry...but I'm still sad to see this part of me come to a conclusion.